Tainted Love
by Justice of the People
Summary: ObiWan and QuiGon have returned from a difficult mission that took a toll on both of them when ObiWan is kidnapped by a foe from their past. WARNING: SLASH. XanatosObiWan. Rating just in case.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars: Jedi Apprentice. Working on it. Isn't looking good.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE SLASH DON'T READ THIS FIC!

_Tainted Love_

Prologue

"I want a lover I don't have to love  
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk  
Where's the kid with the chemicals  
I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full  
I need some meaning I can memorize  
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind  
But you but you  
You write such pretty words  
But life's no story book  
Love's an excuse to get hurt  
And to hurt  
Do you like to hurt?  
I do, I do…  
Then hurt me."

-Bright Eyes

Obi-Wan 

Obi-Wan splashed cold water on his face and breathed deeply. He had woken up from another dream. Another dream with _him_. _He_ was in all of Obi-Wan's dreams now.

"It's not suppose to be like this," Obi-Wan said aloud, his voice almost reaching panic. He dropped his head to his hands. "It's not suppose to hurt this much."

He tilted his head back and bit his lip, trying to keep the tears from coming. It didn't work, and another wave began to fall down his face. He fell to his knees and let the sobbing rack his body, knowing that it would pass in a moment. This had been happening for days now.

He started taking deep breaths, calming himself. The crying had stopped, but he was still shaking when a knock came from the door. "Obi-Wan?" A voice from outside the door called. A soft gentle voice, Bant's voice. "Are you alright?"

Obi-Wan stared at his reflection in the mirror, his eyes were red and blotchy and he was shaking slightly. _No, I'm far from alright…_

"Yes Bant, I'm alright," Obi-Wan responded through the door, trying to keep his voice steady. "Go back to bed, it's late."

"It's ok, I'm not tired," Bant said softly. "I'm worried about you. So is Qui-Gon, he's the one who came and got me. He felt your pain just now and he asked me to come talk to you." She paused for a moment, and then said in almost a whisper. "He was hoping that you would open up to me, you won't talk to him about it."

'There's nothing to talk about."

"Obi-Wan," Bant's voice cracked with tears. "I know that something's wrong. Please, let me in."

Obi-Wan suddenly felt guilty. _Just because I hurt doesn't mean that I have to hurt those around me._ But how could she understand? How could he expect her to? He barely understood.

He stood up slowly, unsure of his legs' steadiness, and unlocked the door.

Bant entered cautiously, then looked at Obi-Wan. Her eyes softened and filled with tears. "Obi-Wan…" She whispered softly, reaching out to wipe away his tears.

He turned away from her proffered hand and sat on the edge of his sleepcouch, dropping his head into his hands. "I'm sorry for worrying you."

"No," said Bant. "Don't be. Just please… tell me what happened."

Obi-Wan took a deep breath, but still his voice was unsteady. "I don't know if I can."

Bant sat down. "It was that bad?"

Obi-Wan stared at the wall, her question echoing in his head. Was it that bad? He hadn't stopped to think about he events leading up to his pain. Was it a mistake? Did he regret it? Was what happened Obi-Wan's fault? Or _his_? He let his eyes wander over his simple room. His sleep couch, desk, and the small ships he had crafted so meticulously himself. He could have given this up for a much different life if things hadn't ended like they had. He was given the choice, only to have it snatched away. Did he wish he still had that choice?

Most importantly, did he love him?

Bant stared at him, allowing him time to sort his thoughts. He was grateful for her patience.

"I'm… I'm a little ashamed," he whispered.

"No one has to know," she said. "You can trust me, you know you can."

After several moments he took a shuddering breath. "I guess I need to start from the beginning, in order for you to fully understand what happened. Qui-Gon and I had just returned from a mission…"

**Chapter 1**

"What have I done?  
Where have I come from?  
When I burnt the backs with the sun through a glass did I seal the loss that's become me?

Feeling undone  
What have I become?  
When I turned my back on you I turned my back on myself and became this machine…"

-Mudvayne

Four months before…

Qui-Gon 

This mission had been grueling. It had been disappointing and heartbreaking.

It was nice to be home.

Obi-Wan needed it. He needed it. Rest. Serenity. Some people can live without them. Jedi can't. Jedi see too much.

It should have been routine, they were escorting a royal diplomat from her war-torn world to Coruscant to help with the peace efforts between her home-planet and their opponent.

But not everyone always wants peace.

They had been fighting for a very long-time, and neither was completely willing to surrender. The radicals of both worlds would go to any lengths to keep the war going. They needed revenge on their neighbor.

Qui-Gon never failed to see the irony in things. Two conflicting sides couldn't agree on anything until it came to an assassination.

He didn't sense it. Not one thing… at least not until the starfighter was rocking from the blast. The engines were damaged, and they were forced to land on a nearby planet. Exactly what they were supposed to do. After that, it was only a matter of time.

It had been a long time since the last time one of Qui-Gon's missions ended in failure. When they arrived on the planet it was like an aklar slaughter. No matter what he did he couldn't stop it. This was one of the missions that might hinder his sleeping for weeks to come. He felt even worse for Obi-Wan. At 17-years-old the boy still had trouble seeing such wanton murder. He wasn't use to it. Qui-Gon hoped that he never would be.

It was a hard life, but Qui-Gon thought it was worth it. It involved a great deal of self-sacrifice, but it was worth it. Saving people was worth it. They had many good missions, but with the good occasionally comes the bad.

_It is not ours to judge fate, it is the will of the force. _

The force chose the ending of this mission, and Qui-Gon would live with it. He wouldn't dwell on the past, that was not the Jedi way.

He sighed and smiled faintly at his exhausted padawan before heading to the turbolift.

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Obi-Wan 

Obi-Wan stepped outside the temple door and was immediately assaulted with loud speeder honks and roaring engines. Turmoil, that was good. He could lose himself in turmoil.

He had first gone to the Room of a Thousand Fountains, hoping to find comfort in the waterfalls spray and the soft grass between his fingers. The atmosphere of it was meant to be calming, but Obi-Wan could only take so much of it at the moment. At the moment it all seemed so… fake.

He knew that he wasn't thinking like a Jedi, but he couldn't help it. For once he didn't want to think like a Jedi, he wanted to lose his thoughts. He had far too many thoughts. There was so much blood…

_No_, he silently shook himself. _Don't think about it. Don't. Think. About. It._

Strangely, the walk did more for him then he thought it would. It was loud, and overpopulated, but it was life. Strong, vibrating life.

He walked the same roads the next day. And the day after. From the temple towards the Senate building. Right turn. Right turn. Alley shortcut, left turn. Alley shortcut, right turn, west towards home. It became a routine for him, a relaxing constant. He didn't know that others had noticed his routine, that he wasn't the only one walking that same path.

Four days after he had started his walks he turned into the second alley. A low voice interrupted his thoughts.

"The same path everyday, I would have thought that you would have formed a brain by now, but I guess I was wrong," a shadow detached from the wall, and Obi-Wan's hand immediately flew to his lightsaber.

He couldn't see the stranger's face, it was covered by a hood. The shadow spoke again. "Don't they teach you anything at that temple? Routine makes you comfortable, and when you're comfortable you lose alertness, and when you lose alertness you become susceptible to danger."

"And I suppose that you're the danger in this scenario?" Asked Obi-Wan in a calm voice. _I know him from somewhere…_

"I've been the danger in all of your scenarios," responded the man mockingly. "You just haven't realized it yet." He reached inside the folds of cloak and pulled out a lightsaber.

Obi-Wan felt as if the breath had been knocked out of him. "Xanatos…" He said in almost a whisper.

Xanatos flipped back the hood, revealing his dark hair and gleaming white scar. His blue eyes blazed with arrogance and hatred. "You're a quick one," he smirked.

Then he lunged. Their lightsabers tangled with a hiss, and Obi-Wan could feel the heat radiating off their collision on his face. This was too close for comfort. Xanatos pushed his strength against their sabers, forcing Obi-Wan to stumble backwards. Then he leaped at him again.

Obi-Wan had fought Xanatos before, when he was thirteen. Xanatos had gotten better, much better. But then again, so had Obi-Wan. He was ready for Xanatos next attack, and he met it with his own strength, drawing on the force to calm and help him.

Xanatos laughed. "Not even the force can save you."

They tangled again, but this time Obi-Wan was backed by the force. "Qui-Gon was right, you do like to hear yourself talk," replied Obi-Wan as he slashed at Xanatos.

The alley was shaped in a straight line, with a small passage on the south end and another on east side. Every other part was just solid buildings. No place to run.

Xanatos was trying to push him back into a corner, Obi-Wan knew. He jumped on to a nearby dumpster and flipped over Xanatos's head, landing behind him. Obi-Wan was hoping to surprise him with that move, but Xanatos didn't even seem to notice, he just ducked to miss Obi-Wan's swinging lightsaber and continued their battle.

Time wore on, neither knew how much. They were both soaked in sweat, and Obi-Wan was having trouble gripping his lightsaber.

"What's wrong little Jedi?" Xanatos mocked. "Getting tired? I'm afraid that I don't have any inspiring maxims to share with you."

Obi-Wan ground his teeth, trying to focus on the battle and ignore Xanatos's taunts.

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions," Xanatos continued, not missing a beat. "Like how I'm still alive."

"I'm sure that you just want an audience," Obi-Wan said dryly.

Xanatos laughed bitterly. "Well I'm sure that whether you like it or not, you're going to be my audience." He shoved into Obi-Wan hard, forcing him to stumble back.

Obi-Wan tried to catch his balance, but his right leg fell ankle deep into a hole that wasn't there the day before. Obi-Wan cried out as he felt his ankle twist painfully and his body fall hard on the ground. He should have known that Xanatos would change the terrain to make him clumsy.

He smacked his head hard against the duracrete ground. The last thing he saw as his vision ebbed was Xanatos's smirk.

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The Next day…

Qui-Gon 

Qui-Gon was walking quickly. To a bystander he might have appeared to simply be enjoying a brisk walk through the temple grounds, but his friends knew that he was upset. Obi-Wan hadn't returned to the temple the night before. It wasn't like him in the least.

He caught Garen, one of Obi-Wan's best friends, exiting the food hall.

"Garen!" He called to him.

Garen stopped and waited for Qui-Gon to catch up. "Have you seen Obi-Wan?"

"No," Garen replied. He then noticed Qui-Gon's slightly furrowed brow. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm not sure," responded Qui-Gon. "He didn't come back to the temple last night."

Garen looked worried for a moment, then he smiled weakly. "That's not like Obi-Wan, but I'm sure that he's fine. Maybe he just left early this morning and you missed him?"

Qui-Gon shook his head. "Thank you Garen, I don't think so, but I'm sorry to have bothered you."

"It's no bother," Garen said. "I'd help but my master and I are wanted by the council. But don't worry Qui-Gon, I'm sure he's fine." With a wave Garen headed down the hallway.

Frustration set in on Qui-Gon. Bant and Reeft were both on missions with their masters, and he had searched all over the temple for Obi-Wan. This wasn't like him, Obi-Wan didn't just not come home.

Qui-Gon walked into his chambers and paced them restlessly. What if he's hurt? Or worse… dead? _No_, he shook his head. He would have sensed it if he was dead. He should have sensed it if he was distressed at all.

Qui-Gon fell down on to his sleepcouch, but when he landed a thin durasheet flew into the air. Qui-Gon stared at it for a split second before snatching it out of the air. He read at the scrawled words in shock.

My dear Qui-Gon,

I hate to sound clichéd, but I have something that you want. If you ever want to see him again, you'll have to catch me. That is, if you can.

The note wasn't signed by anything except a broken circle at the bottom.

Qui-Gon's blood ran cold.

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A/N: Hey I hoped you guys like what I have so far. For all of you who aren't fans of slash, I'm sorry. If you don't like it please don't report me for some stupid reason, just tell me. I'd appreciate that. Constructive Criticism is more then welcome, as are story plot suggestions, I love suggestions. Maybe that's cause I'm too lazy to think up my own ideas, but whatever. The kidnapping seems kind of awkward to me, but I hope that it didn't seem too illogical to any of you. I needed it to happen, how it happened wasn't a high priority. If anyone has a problem, please just say it in the review or e-mail me, my address is on my profile page. I'm so angry with some of the people on right now it's not even funny, I've had so many stories deleted for stupid reasons, or for violations that I didn't commit. So please if there's a problem let me know and I'll fix it. Please be reasonable. Oh yeah and you see that little purple button? You want to push it.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars: Jedi Apprentice. Working on it. Isn't looking good.

A/N: Yeah just so you guys know I'm not really going to focus on the whole "we're both guys" thing at all. It would be too complicated to focus on that and on the nemesis thing, so I'm just going to focus on this attraction being inappropriate because of their history. Let's just use the train of thought that the Star Wars galaxy is supposed to be more advanced then ours, so let's say they're more open-minded and homosexuality/bisexuality isn't something that they even notice as that different.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE SLASH DON'T READ THIS FIC!

**Chapter 2**

"Can you feel it crush you does it seem to bring the worst in you out  
There's no running away from these things that hold you down  
Do they complicate you because they make you feel like this  
of all the colors that you shine this is surely not your best

But you should know these colors that you're shining are  
Surely not the best... Colors that you shine"

-Crossfade

Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan felt as if someone had slammed his head through a duracrete wall. There was a slow thumping in his temples, and he controlled his breathing to help his body get used to it. He started to open his eyes slowly; the room wasn't bright so it didn't cause him any pain. He ran his tongue across his teeth, relieved that they were all there, and started checking for other signs of pain. His wrists were cuffed together so he couldn't move them. There was a burning pain on his left arm from where Xanatos's lightsaber had caught him, but the pain was ebbing and he realized that the wound had already been attended to. The only thing left was his sprained ankle, and he couldn't do much about that.

"I see you're awake."

If Obi-Wan wasn't a Jedi he would have jumped at the sound of Xanatos's voice. He pulled himself into a sitting position but didn't try to rise. He wouldn't get up if he couldn't stay up, Xanatos would not see him fall again.

The walls and floor were completely bare; the only light came from a small orb on the ceiling. The orb only cast light in the center of the room, creating eerie dark corners in the room and shadows across Xanatos's handsome face. There was a small door behind Xanatos and the chair he was sitting on, and that was all.

"Did you have a nice nap?" the dark Jedi asked with a smirk.

Obi-Wan glared at him. "Where are we?"

Xanatos smiled. "On my ship. It's actually quite a beautiful piece of machinery, but I'm sorry to say that you will be able to see very little of it."

"What a shame," mumbled Obi-Wan. "Where is this ship headed?"

Xanatos smiled at him like a child. "Now if I told you, it would ruin the surprise."

Obi-Wan shivered. Maybe he didn't want to know what horrible planet they were going to.

A red light flickered on the wall and Obi-Wan glanced at it in surprise. There was a tiny box mounted in the room's upper right-hand corner.

Xanatos's teeth gleamed in the darkness. "It's a life-form sensor," he explained. "It tells me whether there is a living being in this room or not. If you leave, I'll know."

Not a problem there, no matter how many times Obi-Wan scanned the room no plan would come to him about how to escape. He would just have to be patient, and hope that the force would bring him an idea.

"Don't look so worried little Jedi," Xanatos said, leaning back in his chair. "I'm sure your loving master is trying to figure out where we've gone at this exact moment."

Fear suddenly traveled up Obi-Wan's spine. "So that's what's happening. You _want _Qui-Gon to find us. I'm bait."

"Like a gizka on a malia hunt," Xanatos said with a nearly psychotic smile. He then bent down so he was eye level with Obi-Wan. "And then I'm going to kill you, right in front of him. He too will see the most important person in his life die."

Xanatos stood up abruptly and turned around, so close that Obi-Wan felt the material of the dark Jedi's cloak brush his cheek.

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Qui-Gon

Qui-Gon's heart stopped beating as he reread the note.

_I have something you want…_

It's not possible. This can't be happening. He's dead!

If you ever want to see him again… 

But did you see him die? A mocking voice came from Qui-Gon's head.

You'll have to catch me 

Qui-Gon didn't see anything around him as he headed for the council room. He needed to find Xanatos. He needed to find Obi-Wan, and only the council could help him. He didn't even bother asking for permission before entering. Luckily, the council was in session. Inside was a Jedi Knight that Qui-Gon didn't know, and at the moment didn't care to know.

"Something's happened," Qui-Gon explained before anyone on the council could protest to the intrusion. "Xanatos is alive. He's taken Obi-Wan somewhere."

A few whispers ran through the council, but Mace Windu and Yoda remained impassive.

"Bad news indeed, this is," Yoda nodded thoughtfully. "But already speaking with a Jedi, the council is. Speak with you of this tragedy when done, we will."

"I don't know how much time Obi-Wan has!" said Qui-Gon quickly.

"A few moments can be spared," Master Windu said sternly. "Wait outside and calm yourself, perhaps it will give you a chance to think of where they might have gone."

Qui-Gon turned on his heel and exited the room without another word. He knew that further argue would only make it worse, and he also knew that Obi-Wan's kidnapping was not the worst thing happening in the galaxy. It just felt like it.

The walls of the temple were smooth and cool to the touch, but Qui-Gon barely noticed as he laid his palms against them, supporting his weight and breathing deeply.

_I need to find serenity. If I'm not calm, then I can't help Obi-Wan._

He shifted his weight so that his back was leaning against the wall. _Xanatos is alive, I can except that_, he silently told himself. _Now I need to figure out how he's still alive, where he's taken Obi-Wan, and what exactly he wants. _

Xanatos desire for revenge was obvious, and Qui-Gon knew that taking Obi-Wan was simply a way for him to lash out at Qui-Gon. That didn't change how much danger Obi-Wan could be in.

If he's still alive… 

The thought was cast away as quickly as it came. Obi-Wan was still alive. He was still alive because he _had_ to be alive. After the woman that Qui-Gon loved, Tahl, was killed the grief had overwhelmed him. Obi-Wan was the closest thing to a son that Qui-Gon had or would ever have, how would he deal with losing him?

_I'll never have to find out,_ he told himself. _I'm going to save him, he'll be fine._

Qui-Gon took another deep breath and released it, focusing his mind on Xanatos and the note he kept safely tucked away. The note was left, so Xanatos wants to be found. That was a key factor in this scenario. The durasheet professing Qui-Gon's worst nightmare was more than a taunt, it was a clue. It was meant to help him, but how?

The door to the council room swished open and the young Jedi Knight stepped out. He glanced at Qui-Gon apologetically. "I hope you find you're padawan, may the force be with you."

Qui-Gon nodded at the young knight and entered the council room.

"Inform us of the situation with Obi-Wan, you may," said Yoda softly.

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Obi-Wan

There are many places in the galaxy with less then savory menus, but this was beyond disgusting. Obi-Wan crinkled his nose as he stared at the gooey brick of_… something_. It was squishy, colorless, and didn't even have an odor. Obi-Wan assumed that it was tasteless as well, but he wasn't going to test the theory.

He sighed and glanced at his fork (1). Maybe in a few days he'd be hungry enough to eat the brick, but right now he had every intention of passing. He dropped the fork and it clanged against the metal tray.

The fork's clanging rang through his head and he looked at the utensil with new appreciation. The guards would come to collect the tray, he would have to give them that, but would they notice a missing fork? Would his plan even work?

Deciding that he had to risk it, Obi-Wan hid the fork inside his tunic and laid down, his heart racing.

He didn't have to wait long before the door slid open and a tall man dressed in a simple dark tunic with a vibroblade strapped to his belt entered the room. "Evening," the guard said mockingly. "I see you didn't eat. Not good enough for you, eh? You know what I think…"

Obi-Wan never got a chance to hear what the guard thought, because at the moment he flipped his body around while yanking the fork out of his tunic and stabbed it through the front of the guard's foot. The guard started to howl but Obi-Wan jumped to his feet and covered the man's mouth with one hand, snatching his vibroblade with the other. He pressed the weapon to the guard's throat.

"Not a word," he whispered.

The guard nodded, suddenly very calm. Obi-Wan grabbed the vibrocuffs from the guard's belt and hooked the man's hands behind his back. He then ripped a strip of cloth from his tunic and used it as a gag. "Sorry," he whispered. "But I have to get out of here." Xanatos had a sensor in the room to check for living beings, but not Obi-Wan specifically. As long as someone was alive in the room, the alarm would not go off.

Before leaving he considered switching clothing with the guard, but the man was much larger then him. Obi-Wan checked the guard for a comlink but didn't find one. He kept the vibroblade with him just in case and slid out the door, cringing slightly from the pain in his sprained ankle. He glanced up and down the hallway. There was no one around.

He took a deep breath and closed the door before carefully treading through the hallways of the dark Jedi's ship.

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(1): I don't actually know what kind of utensils (forks, knives, spoons) they use in Star Wars, I never really paid attention and I couldn't find any information, so I just used the most common. Sorry if this breaks the canon.

MyFictionalAnnihilation: Thanks, I'm happy that you liked it. Here's your update.

Curt Kenobi: Yeah the only Star Wars slash I like is Xan/Obi, or at least I haven't seen any other slash that I liked. I was inspired to write the story while listening to the Clash "Tainted Love," so that's what I decided to name it. As for Xanatos's plans, you shall see.

Rian Sage: Thanks for reading! There's definitely more, sorry it took so long to get the new chapter up!

Staryday: Was that Japanese? I don't know Japanese, but thanks for reading! I'm glad you liked it!

A/N: I have the outline for the most part completely done except for the ending. There are two possibly endings, pretty much the same except for one difference that I wanted to get your guys' opinions on: Should Obi-Wan tell Qui-Gon what happened between him and Xanatos? Also, we didn't get to see much of Xanatos in the books. He was talked about a lot and we got to see him in battle, but we don't know much about the workings of his mind, so I'm taking a lot of liberty with his character in this fic. I'm going to try to keep him as close to the canon as I can. Xanatos might say some kind of shocking things in this fic as well, just to warn you, because to me Xanatos always seem rather… unstable mentally. Once again please review and let me know if you have any questions or suggestions.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars: Jedi Apprentice. Working on it. Isn't looking good. 

WARNING: There are some sexual comments and implications in this chapter.

Chapter 3 

Mysterious  
That's what I call you  
I'm curious about you  
I'm scared and not sure that you are safe  
But your eyes seem to say that you are good

This is not a dream that I'm living  
This is just a world of your own  
you took me from all that I knew  
Showed me how it feels to hope  
With you with me, facing tomorrow together  
I can learn to fly  
Feels like I'm living in a lion's mouth, but the lion is an angel…

-Rebecca St. James

Qui-Gon

"Grave news, this is," said Yoda solemnly.

"We know that you need to find Obi-Wan," Master Windu said in his normal, calm voice. "But I must ask that you take another Jedi team with you. Xanatos is very dangerous."

Qui-Gon was shaking his head before Windu even finished.

"No," he said firmly. "I know Xanatos, I know his ways and his thoughts. Another team would just slow me down, and put other Jedi in unnecessary danger."

Windu glanced at the other council members and then nodded. "It is your choice. You should take the note to Madame Jocasta Nu, perhaps she can find some clue that we cannot. May the force be with you."

A cordial bow was all the goodbye that Qui-Gon gave to the council before leaving to see Madame Nu at the Jedi Archives.

As usual, Madame Nu's hair was arranged in a tight bun, and she was wearing a yellow robe with traditional Ansata patterns. She nodded at Qui-Gon when he entered.

"I need your help," Qui-Gon said with a slight bow.

"Most who come here do," she said in her calm voice. "What is it that you need Master Jinn?"

"My apprentice has been kidnapped by a former Jedi name Xanatos. The only clue we have is this note," Qui-Gon proffered the note from his robe pocket.

She took the durasheet and immediately started shaking her head. "This Ex-Jedi is very careless."

Qui-Gon's eyes widened in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"This isn't a regular durasheet," she explained. "It's too thin, see?"

The durasheet was indeed too thin, Qui-Gon was surprised that he hadn't noticed before. The note also felt fragile, but not easily torn at the same time.

"The durasheet might have been common 50 years ago," continued Madame Nu. "But now it is an extreme rarity. There's a very primitive forest world called Tarria. The planet has no inhabitants and was not controlled by any neighboring world, so there was no one to buy or rent land from. A large company had hoped to make cheap durasheets there. They spent large sums of credits building elaborate bases and factories to produce the durasheets, and they were successful for quite some time. The factories very quickly paid for themselves. Because the durasheets were produced so cheaply they were sold cheaply, and people would buy only their products. Then something happened. The beasts of Tarria, which had roamed the planet unchecked for thousands of years, suddenly went mad with blood lust. Before the company had controlled them with long-term contract mercenaries, but they couldn't stop the beasts when they went on this rampage. No matter how many shots a beast took, it just kept coming. Thousands of workers were killed, and no one tried to manufacture there again. As far as I know, no one even goes there. How this 'Xanatos' got this durasheet I do not know, but I assume that it's some sort of clue. How very careless."

Qui-Gon doubted it. Xanatos was never careless, but the question was: Was this a real clue, or just Xanatos toying with him? Why would Xanatos take Obi-Wan to Tarria?

"One more thing Madame Nu," Qui-Gon said thoughtfully. "Why has no one simply used a bio bomb to eradicate the planet of the creatures? It sounds as if its rich in natural resources, there is much profit to be made."

Madame Nu looked at him coolly. "Cultural taboo. It's rumored that a Sith academy was once there."

The room started spinning around Qui-Gon as a chill ran to his fingertips. His morbid thoughts were, however, interrupted by the beeping of his comlink.

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Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan leaned against the shadows, his back pressed to the wall. He had to stop for two reasons: first, his ankle was screaming in protest with every step he took, and second, there were a large number of very brutish men passing through the hallway he was presently in. It seemed like they all had a common destination, though why Xanatos has so many mercenaries on his shop Obi-Wan didn't know.

His original intention was to find an escape pod and get off the ship, but every time another group of mercenaries passed he grew more and more nervous. What if he and Qui-Gon weren't the only benefits of this 'mission'? What else did he have planned? What if others were in danger? But what ifs can go either way…

Another group passed, then another. Biting back a groan, Obi-Wan crouched down and walked slowly in the direction opposite the mercenaries gathering point, and away from the hanger, the general vicinity that the escape pods would be in. He needed to find a computer terminal, and hope that he could slice into its files. Maybe then he could learn exactly what was going on…

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Xanatos

"Sir!" a voice came from the end of the hallway.

Xanatos slowed his steps and glanced over his shoulder. Scurrying behind him was one of the mercenaries assigned to guard Obi-Wan. He stopped walking and turned to face the man – was his name Gerrith? – coolly and blankly.

"Yes?" He asked, his voice smooth, but Gerrith shivered under his intense gaze.

"The J-Jedi boy…" stuttered the idiot. "He's… he's gone."

Eyes cast down, Gerrith tried not to shiver under the dark Jedi's gaze. Xanatos had yet to speak, and several moments had passed. Gerrith began to wonder how he would be punished. Would Xanatos have him jettisoned into space with no suit? Or perhaps he would feed him to his kath hounds? That's what happened to poor Kateri…

"I know," Xanatos relaxed voice broke into Gerrith's morbid thoughts.

"You… know?" Gerrith's eyes widened in shock.

Xanatos smiled, and for some reason this scared Gerrith more then his gaze from before. "Of course I know. Every step that boy takes is another step that I _want_ him to take. Besides, this is my ship. Not a single one of you imbecilic excuses for mercenaries can so much as examine your nails without my knowledge."

Gerrith moved his mouth like he was going to speak, but no sound came out. He ended up just nodding, "yes sir. What would you like us to do about the boy?"

"Nothing," said Xanatos with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I'll deal with him."

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Obi-Wan

Ducking into a utility closet, Obi-Wan once again tried to remove some of the weight from his ankle.

"This isn't working," he mumbled.

_I can't keep walking on it, it will only make it worse…_ thought Obi-Wan. _I need to move through the ship and keep off my ankle._

Obi-Wan glanced around the closet, looking for anything useful. To his right he saw a glistening meter high square was against the corner of one wall. Sighing in relief Obi-Wan bent down and tugged on the square. It resisted for a moment, but soon pulled off. Obi-Wan bent down to his knees and crawled into the vent. He was getting two advantages with this: he was keeping his weight off his ankle, and he would be able to move through the ship inconspicuously.

The dust kicked up around him as he crawled, forcing him to stifle coughs. While the rest of the ship was expensive and sleek, the ventilation was dusty and filled with insects. Obviously Xanatos didn't care about the health of his mercenaries and crew. Obi-Wan scooted to the side of the vent to let a furry majerik spider the size of his fist crawl by. Benign as they were, he still didn't want to touch it.

As soon as the hairy thing was out of sight Obi-Wan started moving forward again. He stopped when he heard voices from another vent opening.

"…So he wasn't mad?"

"Not at all, of course he probably didn't want to annoy me too much, he knows my reputation," Obi-Wan could hear the false bravado from one of the mercenaries.

"Are you really implying that he was scared of _you_?"

"Of course I am! Like I said before, Xanatos must know of my reputation. He wouldn't want to anger me."

Obi-Wan resisted the urge to scoff. There was no way Xanatos was afraid of some secondhand soldier-for-hire. But of course the mercenary didn't want his friends to know that.

"Who cares if Gerrith thinks that Xanatos is scared of him," came a third voice. "The point is we're not going to get punished for the Jedi kid escaping, and best of all we don't even have to hunt him down in this labyrinth of a ship. Xanatos will do that work."

Obi-Wan didn't wait to hear the rest of their story. Xanatos had learned of his escape sooner then he had hoped and was looking for him. Obi-Wan had to hurry.

He had only moved a few more meters when he heard the unmistakable sound of beeping monitors. He scooted forward a little and found another silver square. Pressing his ear against the vent, he pulled the force around him. When he could feel every bug and rat in the ventilation shaft, he pushed the force into the room beyond. He didn't feel any life forms.

The vent door gave way beneath his hands easily. He wiggled out of the passage and into the room. It was small and rectangular, and glowed with the bright blue light of the computer terminals. Trying to hurry, he limped over to the nearest one. A file titled "Jedi Captive" glowed on the screen. With one click the file opened and it's contents spilled over.

_That's odd_, Obi-Wan thought. _It should be coded to require at least one password_. But maybe Xanatos didn't expect any of the mercenaries to betray him, or for his "Jedi Captive" to get this far.

But then again, when has Xanatos ever left anything to chance?

Obi-Wan stared at the file's contents nervously. Was there any risk in simply reading them?

Deciding that it was a necessary risk, Obi-Wan read through the files. He grew more pale with every page.

_I have to contact Qui-Gon._

It took him only a few moments to find a com terminal and to signal for Qui-Gon.

"Jinn here," came Qui-Gon's crisp voice. Obi-Wan had never felt so relieved.

"It's Obi-Wan, I've escaped Xanatos's cell. I'm loose on his ship."

He heard Qui-Gon take a sharp intake of breath. "Are you alright?"

"For the most part, my ankle's hurt and I have some bruises, but I'll live. That's not what's important right now. Xanatos is taking me to a planet called Tarria, and he has a small army with him. They're going to set up base on Tarria, and from there rain attacks on two neighboring planets. The planets are Blusca and Sada, and they've been rivals for a hundred years. They'll both think that the other planet is attacking them, because Tarria is uninhabited. This will start a war that Offworld, and in turn Xanatos, will benefit from because of their advanced weapons department. Xanatos also intends to lure you to the planet and capture us both, Jedi hostages sold to the highest bidder between Blusca and Sada in order to force the Republic to support them."

"And you know this for sure?"

Obi-Wan paused. "I read it from their computer terminal."

"But there's something wrong. Xanatos wants us both dead, and I don't believe that any amount of credits could sway him from revenge."

Obi-Wan gripped the console tightly. That hadn't crossed his mind.

"Maybe…" he started, but didn't get to finish. A sharp pain ran from the back of his neck up to his head and he fell to the floor unconscious.

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Qui-Gon

"Obi-Wan?" He called in fear. "Obi-Wan are you still there?"

The sound of a body hitting the floor rang through his comlink. Then a cool voice came on the line. "Obi-Wan is a little busy at the moment, can I take a message?"

"Xanatos," Qui-Gon breathed. "If you hurt him…"

"What will you do master? Jedi can't threaten."

"No," said Qui-Gon, matching Xanatos's coolness. "But they can promise, and inform."

He could almost feel the heat of Xanatos's anger over the comlink. "I would think that you wouldn't be so quick to irritate me Qui-Gon, after all, your apprentice is at my mercy. And who knows how long I'll decide to be merciful?"

With those words the line went dead.

Qui-Gon squeezed the comlink tightly. _I will save you Obi-Wan. I promise._

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Obi-Wan

He was able to contact Qui-Gon, that was something. At least Qui-Gon knew he was alive.

Small accomplishments, however, are hard to appreciate when you're bleeding from the back of your head and your ankle feels like someone took a vibro-axe to it. Obi-Wan gingerly touched his gnarled ankle. It was only twisted before, but it seemed a lot worse now. The area under the anklebone was purple and black, the darkness fading into a sickly yellow around the edges. The blue shade spread across the top of his foot to his toes.

Obi-Wan sighed and tugged his boot back on, hoping that the thick leather would help to give his ankle support.

"It's your own fault you know."

Nearly jumping out of his skin, Obi-Wan glanced to the door, where a nonchalant Xanatos stood as if he was paying an old school buddy a visit.

Obi-Wan pulled himself to his feet, leaning slightly against the wall for support. No matter how injured his ankle was, he wouldn't kneel before Xanatos. He knew that those weren't the thoughts of a Jedi because they stemmed from pride, but they were his thoughts nonetheless.

"Even _you_ have to admit, trying to escape was rather foolish. Especially when I have little short of an army onboard," Xanatos entered the cell and the door slid shut ominously behind him.

"I wasn't aware of the guard situation at the time," said Obi-Wan dryly. "It wasn't very courteous of you to not inform me."

Xanatos smirked. "You act like the guards had anything to do with catching you. Think Jedi, would I really be stupid enough to have you in a prison cell that can be escaped from so easily? That I would install a camera that couldn't even spy on you, but life forms in general? And here I had thought that I'd proven myself a brilliant strategist time and time again."

"So what are you saying? That you _wanted_ me to escape? You wanted me to contact Qui-Gon? To hack into your plans?" Obi-Wan kept his eyes level with Xanatos's.

An eerie smile flitted across Xanatos's pale features. "Yes."

That one simple word sent a buzzing sound loose in Obi-Wan's ears and caused his blood to chill. "That's why the files were so easy to get to. It was part of your plan."

"I assumed that you would know by now; it's _all_ part of my plan. Qui-Gon can't very well chase after you if he doesn't know where you are now can he? I wasn't, of course, relying on your cleverness alone. I left him another clue at the temple, but whether or not he'll figure it out is questionable."

Obi-Wan didn't know what to say. _I've led Qui-Gon into danger._

"Don't look so remorseful Kenobi," Xanatos said. "Don't try to pretend like you're completely distraught over the idea of Qui-Gon's death. Even a sinless saint like yourself must have formed some resentment for your old teacher after all these years."

Nothing like harsh words to snap someone out of a daze. Obi-Wan looked up Xanatos with a fierce gaze. "Never," he said sharply.

Xanatos smiled bitterly. "No, you haven't been given a reason to."

"Neither have you."

"Haven't I?" Demanded Xanatos, anger blazing in his eyes. "My father's murder right in front of me wasn't an incentive? The Jedi turned their backs on me!"

"The Jedi didn't turn their backs on you; _you_ turned your back on us."

"You gave me a reason to."

"_I_ didn't," Obi-Wan replied sharply before he could stop himself. "_I_ wouldn't."

This time when Xanatos looked over at Obi-Wan their wasn't mockery or hate. Just a sliver of confusion behind his blue eyes.

"You shouldn't look at me like that."

Obi-Wan wasn't entirely sure what Xanatos meant, but he didn't look angry, so Obi-Wan decided to press his luck. "Why not?"

Xanatos swiftly turned and walked towards Obi-Wan, backing the Jedi against the wall. When Obi-Wan felt the cool stone against his back Xanatos placed both arms on either side of Obi-Wan's head. He leaned forward so that his cheek brushed against Obi-Wan's, and his mouth was close to his ear.

"Because I said so."

The light from the lamp blurred Obi-Wan's vision as he started at it intently. He didn't care that his eyes were burning and watering, as long as he had something to focus on, anything to focus on except for the feel of Xanatos's black hair against his cheek and the heat of Xanatos's breath on his ear.

However, just as quickly as Xanatos was there he was gone. Obi-Wan's legs shook beneath him as he watched Xanatos head for the doorway.

"How did you do it?" Obi-Wan suddenly demanded.

Xanatos stopped, one hand already pressed against the door.

"How did you live?"

Another knowing smile painted Xanatos's features. "Maybe next time little Jedi."

And just like that he was gone.

Obi-Wan slid into a sitting position on the floor, suddenly feeling very lonely and cold.

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Xanatos

The doors to Xanatos's private office whooshed closed silently behind him. He cleaned against them, rubbing his index fingers against his temple.

"What the sith did I just do?" He asked himself aloud. He walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of Elomin ale and a cup. He poured himself a glass and drank it like he was in a drought.

_I only did it to unnerve the boy_, he told himself. _I was just trying to confuse him._

He pressed the now empty glass to his forehead, trying to rid himself of the heat on his skin.

_The Jedi didn't turn their backs on you; you turned your back on us._

_You gave me a reason to._

_I didn't. I wouldn't._

Xanatos squeezed the cup in his hand until the squeak of splintering glass could be heard. The cup shattered against his palm; cutting open his hand in more places then Xanatos cared to count. He hardly noticed.

Why had he said that? Was it just another Jedi attempt to pacify him?

Why had he looked at me that way? Like he actually… hurt for me? And why did that look affect me like this?

The glass and blood on his palm glittered as Xanatos examined it. He gently pulled the largest pieces out from under his skin and dropped them into the waste can.

_It didn't affect me_, he silently told himself. "I don't care, I just want to break him down so that the plan doesn't fail. I just want to have my revenge on Qui-Gon."

But the memory of Obi-Wan's body heat when they were standing so close returned, and Xanatos shivered, trying to ignore his growing erection.

"You traitor," he said, as if his dick was planning a mutiny.

_Obi-Wan is just some Jedi kid_, Xanatos promised himself. _I'm just toying with him. _

…_Then why am I still shaking?_

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Rian Sage: Thanks for coming back! Also, thank you so so so much for telling me about the passage breaks, I didn't realize that they didn't transmit when chapters are uploaded to ff. I should have checked. I really appreciate you letting me know! I hope this chapter had some good Xanatos stuff for you, and there's going to be a lot of his PoV in later chapters.

Chels: Xanatos is totally uber cool! Now that we're almost done with the Fake series (tear) you can read some of the Star Wars books with him in it. If you have any questions just let me know. I hope you weren't too traumatized by the vibro-axe/ankle comment.

Darkvampiricgoddess: Thanks for the support, and the compliment! I try my best.

Holiday From Real: Yay for being nice about updating. Not that I haven't threatened many people in my day. Thanks for the review!

A/N: Yes, the part of the chapter that everyone has been waiting for, my comments. Well, probably not, but we'll pretend. I'm pretty happy with the way this chapter turned out. Let me know if you have any questions, suggestions, or just plain comments, I appreciate them. Unless of course you're going to complain about my many fragments, in that case don't bother. I try to change them to nice, complete sentences, but they never sound right, and I'm not going to ruin the flow of my story for grammar. Sorry. Thanks for reading, please review!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars: Jedi Apprentice. Working on it. Isn't looking good.

Chapter 4 

Maybe a greater thing will happen  
Maybe all will see  
Maybe our love will catch like fire  
As it burns through me

What a beautiful smile  
Can I stay for a while  
On this beautiful night  
We'll make everything right

-The Afters

Obi-Wan

The ship jolted and Obi-Wan jerked awake. It took him a moment to remember where he was, and that he was Xanatos's prisoner.

He sat up and stretched, then pulled off his boot to check his ankle. It was stiff from lack of movement, but it looked a little better then it had the day before.

_How long have I been here?_ Obi-Wan silently wondered. _A day? Two? More? And the ship is still in hyperdrive, just how far away is Tarria?_

"Good," Obi-Wan was startled out of his thoughts by Xanatos's voice. "You're up."

Obi-Wan glanced up at him, wondering if Xanatos had simply been able to enter the room noiselessly or if he had been there the whole time and Obi-Wan just hadn't noticed.

"Let's see it."

"See what?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Your neck wound," Xanatos explained in exasperation. "It'd be a shame if I brought you all this way just to have you die of an infection."

Reaching around his head Obi-Wan gingerly touched the torn skin. He had almost forgotten about the cut.

"Well?" Demanded Xanatos impatiently as he held out some bacta and bandages. "Let me see it."

Obi-Wan stared at the

medical supplies in Xanatos's hands, wondering if he actually wanted Xanatos that close to him. For several reasons.

Xanatos sighed and moved behind Obi-Wan, kneeling down to look at the back of his neck. Giving in, Obi-Wan leaned forward so he could see better.

The feel of cool air hitting the wound as Xanatos pulled the collar of his tunic away from it was nice and uncomfortable at the same time. Obi-Wan knew that his tunic rubbing against the untreated open wound could not have been good for it.

"Ew," He heard Xanatos grumble.

"That's reassuring," snapped Obi-Wan in irritation.

"Watch it kid," Xanatos responded. "I'm doing you a favor. I don't have to be here."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "You're the one who hurt me in the first place, remember?"

Xanatos rubbed cool bacta on Obi-Wan's wound. "Am I supposed to feel guilty now?"

"I would never expect you to feel guilty."

"So quick to judge little Jedi?" Xanatos applied the bandage carefully, and then leaned back. "Why am I not surprised? I'm sure that Qui-Gon taught you well."

Obi-Wan turned and glared at him. "You have no right to assume that my dislike of you stems from something that Qui-Gon has taught me. At any rate, I chose my feelings for you a long time ago, when you imprisoned me as a slave on Bandomeer."

Xanatos smirked. "I hadn't realized that Jedi were allowed to hold grudges now."

"We aren't," corrected Obi-Wan, flustered. "But that has affected my opinion of you. We don't hold grudges, but we do remember."

Xanatos waved his hand dismissively. "Just another Jedi twist of words. It's easy for you to accuse others of dishonestly, but you yourself don't seem to notice the lies that you're wrapped up in. You can shave off his fur, but a kath hound will always be a kath hound. Paint your faults pretty little Jedi, but they will be faults nonetheless."

Heat rose in his face, and Obi-Wan glared at the floor. _Let it go_, he told himself. _Don't let him know that he's affected you._

Obi-Wan nearly jumped when he felt Xanatos cool fingers trail down his jawline. "The worst part is you don't even seem to recognize the pre-chewed lies the Jedi council feeds you." Xanatos's hand stopped so that his fingers were resting on Obi-Wan's chin.

The thumping of Obi-Wan's heart quickened, but he tried to ignore it.

_Move away_, his brain told him. _Move away from his touch._

But Obi-Wan didn't move.

Xanatos moved his hand up so that it cupped the side of Obi-Wan's face. He leaned forward, pulling Obi-Wan with him.

"Don't," said Obi-Wan, when Xanatos was just an inch from him.

Xanatos froze in that spot. "Do you mean that?"

Obi-Wan stared at him, but didn't respond. Taking that as a no, Xanatos leaned forward again.

When their lips actually met a tingling feeling ran from Obi-Wan's mouth down to his fingers, and his heartbeat became erratic. There were no thoughts in his head, and the only thing he could feel besides the tingling was just an overwhelming pull underneath his ribs.

Needing to breathe and escape from the feelings before they ripped him apart, Obi-Wan pulled back. He absentmindedly touched his lips and stared at the wall.

_What did I just do?_

"The force is a powerful ally," Xanatos said softly.

Obi-Wan glanced at him.

"That's how I lived. I used the force to protect myself from the acid. I lost my cloak, but that appeared to only help me in the long run. When you and Qui-Gon saw my cloak disintegrate, you assumed that I had gone with it. I stayed in that acid for two days, until I was able to escape inbetween the police inspection and the Telosian clean-up crew."

"But that's not possible."

"Apparently it is," responded Xanatos with a smirk.

Shocked, Obi-Wan glanced at him. "How did you get so powerful? I can't think of a single Jedi who could do that."

Pride was always able to overcome Xanatos. He smiled at the question. "Korriban."

Obi-Wan felt as if he had been thrown into the mountains of Hoth. A chill ran down his spine and goosebumps spread across his arms like webs. "The Sith homeworld."

"Not exactly, the Sith don't really have a homeworld. But the planet does hold many of their secrets. I unlocked only a few."

Hundreds of years before Jedi teams had been sent to study the Sith academy ruins on Korriban. Many Jedi were killed, some were lost to the dark side, and those who returned were either never the same or committed suicide. The planet is desolate and dark, and it leaves marks on those foolish enough to walk it's surface that echo for the rest of their lives. The dead Sith buried there whisper in your ears until you die.

The very thought of it made Obi-Wan sick to his stomach.

"Oh, have I finally done something to make the little Jedi scared of me?"

"Not scared," Obi-Wan corrected. "Just disgusted. You were never a good person, I know that, but I never thought of you as evil before. You practice the ways of the Sith, you are evil."

"Is that so?" Xanatos touched Obi-Wan's cheek again, but this time Obi-Wan pulled back.

"Don't touch me," he said, hardening his stare. "And this time I mean it."

Irritation flashed in Xanatos's eyes. He turned from Obi-Wan quickly, his deep blue cloak billowing behind him.

"I brought you some real food," said Xanatos, indicating a tray he had laid down when he went to clean Obi-Wan's wound.

Obi-Wan eyed it suspiciously. It all looked good, which just made him all the more nervous.

"Don't be paranoid, I wouldn't bother poisoning you. It would waste less time and chemicals to just kill you with a vibroblade," with that Xanatos left the room.

Obi-Wan was still a little shaken from their encounter, but not so much that he couldn't appreciate real food after who knows how many days with barely anything above inedible.

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Xanatos

There was a nice crashing sound as Xanatos's bottle of Elomin ale smashed against the wall. The liquid slid down the wall, creating a small puddle between it and the floor.

Xanatos clenched his fist where the bottle had been.

_How dare he?_

Anger seeped out of his every pore has he paced back and forth through his office.

_I'm one of the most powerful men in the galaxy_, Xanatos silently ranted. _People don't say no to me. People have begged me to be with them. He should be falling over himself at the chance. And who is he? I've read his files, nothing but some outer rim kid from a nobody farming family. Who is _he_ to say no to _me

Evil. He used the word evil. That was his excuse; he said that Xanatos disgusted him. That he was disgusted by Xanatos's knowledge of Sith skills. Evil.

_I'll show him evil._

With the mood swing of a child, Xanatos's anger diminished. A smile spread across his face as he turned to leave the room.

_Let's see what the little Jedi has to say about room 6742._

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Qui-Gon

Qui-Gon settled himself into the passenger seat of the Senate starship. The ship was usually held for important senators and diplomats who needed a ship in a hurry, but Qui-Gon had spoken to a few friends in the Senate for help. He needed a fast ship; it was a four-day flight to Tarria. Yoda had been at the landing pad to wish him luck in finding Obi-Wan, and to try to convince him to take another team with him.

"Worried, I am," he had said. "Dangerous, Xanatos is. Planned this out, he has."

Heeding Yoda's warning but still saying no to bringing another team with him, Qui-Gon had left. He didn't want to take the time to contact another team, and if this was a trap, as it probably was, he wanted to keep as many people out of danger as he could.

_Don't worry Obi-Wan_, he thought silently as the ship lurched into hyperspace. _I will save you. _

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Obi-Wan

The light above his head swung slowly as Obi-Wan paced across his cell, trying to keep the stiffness out of his ankle.

He was also trying not to remember the kiss from earlier. That was hard, however, because it was all he could think about. Goosebump shivered up his spine.

_No_, he told himself. _I shouldn't have let that happen. He wants to kill my master, not to mention me._

A dull, pulling pain began below his ribcage, and for some reason he wanted to cry. His painful thoughts were, thankfully, interrupted. The cell door opened and Xanatos glided in. He seemed very pleased with himself, which made Obi-Wan all the more nervous.

"Miss me?" Xanatos mocked.

"Ever so much," Obi-Wan replied dryly. "How could I not? This room was actually starting to feel peaceful."

Xanatos smiled like a small child who was torturing a balko bug with a magnifying glass. "I have something to show you, come with me."

"I suppose I don't have a choice?"

"Of course not," said Xanatos evenly. "No_ evil_ person would ever give you a choice."

Obi-Wan scoffed. "Don't tell me you're offended."

"Come. With. Me." Xanatos repeatedly slowly and headed out of the cell.

Not seeing anyway to get out of the situation, Obi-Wan followed. "Where are we going?"

Xanatos winked at him. "It's a surprise."

The farther into the winding ship they got, the more anxious Obi-Wan became. He had decided during his cell pace that Xanatos wasn't the most mentally stable of individuals, so who knew where they might have been heading.

Eventually Xanatos stopped outside of a large door. He stepped closer to a little box on the wall beside the door, and a red light bathed over his eyes.

"Retinal scan complete," said a computerized voice as the doors slid open. Xanatos strolled in, and Obi-Wan followed. At least for a few feet, then he froze.

All over the room were blue bacta tanks, all filled with people. Each tank differed in size, so that there was only about an inch and a half of space around each person's bulk. The smallest tank was about four feet high, and held a boy who couldn't have been more then seven. There must have been a hundred tanks.

Obi-Wan felt as if his legs had been dipped in frozen carbonite. All he could do was stand and stare at the different unconscious faces. Streams of sadness and fear from their sleeping bodies hit him like a tidal wave through the force.

"Prisoners," Obi-Wan mumbled.

Xanatos laughed maliciously. "No Obi-Wan," he felt Xanatos move behind him and grip his upper arms hard enough to bruise. "They're not nearly that important. They're sacrifices."

"Sacrifices? For what?"

"For the Sith, what else?" Xanatos leaned down and kissed the side of Obi-Wan's neck. "They're going to help us get into the academy and unlock more _evil _secrets."

Obi-Wan flinched a little, feeling as if he'd been burned. "All of them?" He glanced at the small boy.

"All of them."

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MyFictionalAnnihilation- Thanks for the review. Btw, I have decided that I love you, cause you are the first person besides my friends that I've meant who loves Darth Maul. I went and read your profile, and was so excited. I worship that guy, and I don't think he gets nearly enough credit. Everyone makes a big deal over Vader, but Maul is better.

Rian Sage: Thanks for being a devoted reading; I actually look forward to your reviews because you always have something constructive to say. What's GFFA? Yeah I've made Xanatos kind of the pushier one because it matches his nature better and he probably has a lot more experience in the feeling of lust then Obi-Wan does, so he'll recognize it more. A lot of the things that he does in this story are going to seem abrupt, because he strikes me as the kind of person who, when he wants something, takes it.

Chels: Madame Nu's kind of a besh too. She was so rude to Obi-Wan in Episode 2. Gerrith is going to come into some later chapters, but he'll remain a pretty small character, so I'm glad you liked him.

A/N: So I'm back. I hope the story is flowing alright to you guys, I want to make the relationship seem as natural as possible. Now I have something to get off my chest. Why don't people review anymore? I have over 300 hits and 13 reviews. That's so weird to me. I always review when I read a story, am I the only one? It doesn't even have to be a long review, I would just like for someone to tell me whether they hate my story or not, or offer advise. I don't know, maybe I'm just being a review whore. Well, thanks for reading, please review!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: If you recognize it I probably don't own it.

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my friend Chels, or ChildOfAPineapple. Also, some of the italics that signify when someone is thinking aren't working, so I hope that you guys can tell. I've been having problems with my computer.

Chapter 5 

I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you  
You hate everything about me  
Why do you love me

-Three Days Grace

Xanatos

No matter where he was or in what situation, Xanatos always had a talent for looking as if he was in complete control. Presently, his starship was being jerked around far more roughly then he would have liked. All the ship's shaking was ruining his drink, and he was trying to enjoy the fresh taste of the ale after his mishap with the last bottle.

"You didn't tell me that there would be an asteroid storm," the pilot said through chattering teeth as he tried to keep his grip on the controls.

Xanatos sighed. "This is YX2, a traveling asteroid storm. How was I to know? Besides," Xanatos took a moment to sip his drink, "you're an employee. If you dislike you're job so much you can stay on Tarria. Maybe hitch a ride to the inner rim from there."

The pilot gulped. If Xanatos left him on Tarria he would be ripped to pieces by the beasts there in a matter of minutes. Hours if he was lucky. Or perhaps the first one was luckier; it didn't give him much time for fear and anxiety.

Irritation burned in Xanatos as he felt a particularly large asteroid slam into the side of his ship.

My poor baby…

"Look!" Exclaimed Gerrith, who, like a few other mercenaries, had spent the duration of the storm hovering behind the pilot's seat. "I can see the end of the storm!"

Xanatos rolled his eyes and stood. He quickly splashed the contents of his glass on Gerrith's face. "Would you shut up? And get me another drink." He dropped the glass in Gerrith's hand.

Gerrith mumbled an apology and hurried to refill Xanatos's cup, wondering why he didn't listen to his mother when she told him to become a med assistant.

"We're out of it," the pilot sighed in relief.

"Good," Xanatos said, turning on his heel. "Then I have something to attend to."

"Wait sir your ale," Gerrith scurried to stand in front of Xanatos with the proffered glass.

"I don't want that," Xanatos shoved Gerrith out of his way and continued on.

Caught off balance, Gerrith spilled the drink down his front.

Xanatos smirked slightly and left. After he was out of the room the pilot and other mercenaries in the cockpit fell into fits of laughter.

"Yeah Gerrith," scoffed one. "He's _real_ scared of you."

Gerrith tossed the cup at him and left.

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Obi-Wan

"Ow," he muttered, picking himself up off the floor of his cell.

For the past twenty minutes Obi-Wan had felt like a toy being shaken in a box by an especially sadistic child. He knew he would have many bruises later.

He laid down on the floor as soon as he heard the footsteps in the hallway. It was probably Xanatos, and Obi-Wan really didn't want to talk to him. He didn't entirely trust the strength of his self-control.

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Xanatos

_I hope Obi-Wan wasn't hurt in the turbulence._ Xanatos slowed when this thought crossed his mind.

_It's only because I don't want him dead before Qui-Gon gets here_, Xanatos assured himself. _There's no other reason._

Resuming his quick pace, Xanatos soon reached Obi-Wan's cell and accessed the door. However, rather then find a battered and bruised Jedi, Obi-Wan was lying on the floor, fast asleep.

Xanatos stared in shock. How could anyone sleep through that?

Obi-Wan stirred slightly. Xanatos had to force himself not to smile. He walked into the cell and knelt by Obi-Wan's sleeping form, touching his cheek gently.

"What are you doing to me?" He asked softly.

The force waved in Xanatos's mind and he felt Obi-Wan's heartbeat flicker. He wasn't asleep.

Xanatos's blood boiled in anger. "Get up," he said in a harsh voice, rising quickly. "We're about to land."

After a moments hesitation Obi-Wan rose, following Xanatos out of the cell.

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Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan couldn't see a thing in front of him as he walked down the starship ramp. It was nighttime on Tarria, and the planet's one small moon did little to give illumination in the dark.

Upon leaving the ship he was cuffed. A guard was next to him, gripping his elbow so tightly it was bruising. They, being all the passengers save a few who were left to guard the ship, were standing in a large opening among the trees. Xanatos approached from behind and stood next to him.

"The planet is completely uninhabited save for the animals," Xanatos said evenly, staring at the trees. "The Sith relics on this planet have driven many of the beasts mad with bloodlust, and you don't have your lightsaber. Running is suicide."

"Staying is suicide," replied Obi-Wan.

Xanatos didn't look at him and for once didn't respond. He moved to the front of the group and waved his hand, and they began walking west.

Shocked, Obi-Wan moved with the guard gripping his elbow.

_He's angry with me_, Obi-Wan thought, keeping sight of Xanatos. _Why does that bother me so much? _

Obi-Wan lost sight of him several times as they advanced into the forest. The soldiers were deathly silent, and every so often he would hear low growling or see shining eyes from the trees. When this happened flash grenades were tossed into the trees to scare away the creatures. Obi-Wan made the mistake of looking over when a grenade was thrown at one animal that dared venture too close. In the light Obi-Wan saw that it resembled a vine cat in structure and stature, but it most certainly wasn't a vine cat. The flash only lasted for a few seconds, and that was enough for Obi-Wan. The creature's fur was deep green and brown, most likely for camouflage. Its body was about seven feet long. Its front fangs extended out of its mouth and down its jaw, sharpened to points more dangerous then vibroblades. Its claws grew out of its paws upwards and curved like hooks.

_This certainly looks like a Sith world._

"Pretty thing ain't he?" Obi-Wan's guard said, indicating the spot where the cat had been. "They're all over this force-forsaken planet. They wouldn't kill us for meat, they've got plenty of that, they'd kill us just to kill. Always aim for the throat too; poor Tray nearly got his head ripped off when one of the she-cats got him. That was a bloody death."

Obi-Wan knew that the guard was trying to scare him, so he made sure that his features were schooled. The creatures were frightening, but he was still a Jedi.

A startling fact soon occurred to Obi-Wan. No matter how many cats stalked their party, no matter how many grenades were thrown, Obi-Wan could sense nothing from the animals. It was as if they weren't there. His nervous senses spiked.

After about an hour of walking they came upon an outcropping, much larger then the one they landed in but filled with worn down buildings and metal sidewalks that had been slightly overgrown by plants. The only thing new in the area was a small group of speeders on the North side. There was a group of heavily armed soldiers already set up there, Obi-Wan could see them nod a greeting as the party entered.

To his right a flicker of movement caught his eye, but when he looked no one was there.

Obi-Wan began to examine the buildings using a Jedi trick. Observing without appearing too. It was obvious that they were very old remains, and that this was not a living settlement. People had lived here, but only because of their work. Odds are they did not want to be here long-term.

Another movement at his right forced him to openly look over, but once again the area was empty. His senses heightened.

What is it?

He looked for Xanatos. The dark Jedi was about 50 yards in front of him, staring off into the forest. He appeared in deep thought, but his brow was lineless and worry-free, as per usual. The flicker came again, and with a sinking feeling in his stomach Obi-Wan realized what it was.

"Watch out!" He shouted, just as a nasty looking forest cat leaped at Xanatos.

Xanatos's reflexes were finely tuned, but he was still slightly unprepared for the sudden attack from the animal. He twisted his body so the creature didn't catch his neck like it was aiming, but that didn't stop it from sinking it's razor-sharp fangs deep into his right side. His lightsaber had leaped into his hand and he had sliced open the back of the cat's neck while the mercenaries were still pulling out their blasters. Unfortunately, in death the creatures jaw locked. It took three men to pull the animal's mouth open, and when they finally succeeded Obi-Wan heard an audible crack.

Blood spilled down from Xanatos's side, soaking his right pant leg. Without even the slightest limp Xanatos stepped around the soldiers and entered a building. In the chaos Obi-Wan's guard had become preoccupied, and the young Jedi easily ducked behind him and followed Xanatos.

When he found the older man he had already discarded of his shirt and was examining the wound. He had his cloak balled up and pressed it against half of the wound. The cloak was already soaked in blood. Obi-Wan almost cringed at the sight of the deep bite.

"Here," he said softly, taking a step forward. "Let me help you. That's the kind of wound that people bleed to death from."

"And I'm sure that would be such a loss to your precious Jedi," Xanatos snapped, not looking up. However, after a moment he sighed and glanced at Obi-Wan. "Come here, I'll undo your cuffs."

Obi-Wan proffered his cuffed hands and Xanatos removed the bindings. Xanatos sat down in a chair and Obi-Wan kneeled next to him to examine the wound, quickly grabbing the bandages and bacta out of the pack that Xanatos had handed him.

As Obi-Wan began rubbing bacta on Xanatos's side, the dark Jedi leaned forward and yanked off his right boot. He tipped it up and a small stream of blood poured out.

"I suppose I should be thanking you," he muttered.

Obi-Wan shrugged. "You bandaged my neck wound. Granted, you're the one who hurt me in the first place, but the thought was still there."

"Not that. For saving my life."

Obi-Wan felt heat rush to his face. He shook his head. "You would have sensed the cat, it was just my reflex to yell."

"No I wouldn't have."

A little surprised, Obi-Wan looked up at him.

"The cats here are voids in the force, probably a result from their living on a Sith world for so long. We can't sense them, surely you noticed?"

_That explains it_, thought Obi-Wan, remembering the forest incident.

"I also suspect," continued Xanatos, "that the creatures are force-sensitive, though I have no way of knowing for sure. They seem to know things that normal animals shouldn't."

"I thought it was strange that they went after you, when there were mercenaries closer to them," Obi-Wan laid the bacta down and began wrapping the bandage around Xanatos's abdomen. He tried not to notice how the muscles moved underneath Xanatos's skin, and he also tried to ignore the desire to let his hand brush against them as he bandaged the wound.

"They are drawn to the darkside of the force," Xanatos said casually. "I projected it the strongest. You're best off in this camp, you're the very last one that they'd kill."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "I guess I'm just lucky," he taped down Xanatos's bandage and, after allowing his hand to linger a few second to long, started to move away.

Xanatos reached out and grabbed his hand before he had fully stepped back.

"Wouldn't it have been smarter to let me bleed to death?"

Obi-Wan's heartbeat went crazy in that panicked way that he had started to grow use to. It was the reaction his body had every time Xanatos touched him.

"No," Obi-Wan shook his head quickly as he tried to pull out of Xanatos's grasp. "I'm a Jedi, I can't just let people die."

"I'm your enemy, why would you want to help me?" Xanatos kept his tightened hold on the young Jedi, staring at him piercingly.

Obi-Wan's thoughts flew away like so much sand in the wind as he stared at the ocean blue depths of those eyes. He felt like he was drowning in them. "I don't," he said, then, with one firm tug, yanked his hand out of Xanatos's grip.

Only a second after he was free he threw his arms around Xanatos's neck and forcefully pressed his lips against his. Xanatos lost his balance for a moment, but recovered and responded quickly. He could feel Xanatos grab his upper arms tightly, yanking him closer. Obi-Wan let his right hand trail down Xanatos's chest, feeling the muscles he had admired moments before.

The lust-filled moment did not last. Obi-wan was startled back into his sanity by the sound of a door opening, and he quickly disentangled himself from Xanatos's arms.

"Sir," a fearful voice came from the doorway. It was Gerrith, the mercenaries' scapegoat. "The prisoner…" He caught sight of Obi-Wan. "Oh," he said, in an embarrassed voice. "He's with you."

"Yes," said Xanatos, obviously irritated by the intrusion. "He's with me."

Embarrassment flooded Obi-Wan at the near connotation of Xanatos's statement. He suddenly realized in shock what he had initiated, and guilt filled him. _Jedi shouldn't have feelings like that…especially not for men like Xanatos._

"Should I take him to the temporary cell?" Gerrith asked.

Obi-Wan could feel Xanatos looking at him, but he still did look up from his study of the floor. He heard the older man's annoyed sigh.

"Fine," Xanatos waved his hand dismissively. "Take him."

Gerrith placed a firm hand on Obi-Wan's elbow and lead him out. Obi-Wan put up little resistant, still trying to sort out the feelings in his chest and the thoughts in his head, all the while the taste of Xanatos's tongue still in his mouth.

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MyFictionalAnnihilation: Darth Maul is definitely the best. By "do something" I assume that you mean you want them to have sex. I'm trying to keep this fic as logical as possible, and very few people who hate each other jump into bed. Well, there is battle lust, but we won't get into that. Anyway, I do know what you mean however. It's frustrating when you want a really good want characters to have sex, as weird as it sounds I've been there.

Child of a Pineapple: Well, you don't know that Star Wars Timmy is going to die yet, so patience grasshopper. Of course, I might kill him just cause you like him…. j/k. Yes, Xanatos is amazingly cool. I love him so much. I hope you like this chapter, and I hope that the cat death scene or the slightly uncomfortable sexual implications didn't bother you. They weren't very strong in this chappie, so I didn't put up a warning. Love you!

Holiday From Real: Yeah, I've always imagined Xanatos had being a few cards short of a full deck, so this is the way I always portray him. Kind of childish, in an evil murderous way. I'm happy that the relationship sounds normal, let me know if it gets weird.

Rian Sage: I tried to do more Obi-Wan PoV on Xanatos in this chappie, so I hope that's what you were wanting. Xanatos wasn't really showing Obi-Wan the sacrifices to get him to want him or anything, he was just angry and he wanted to hurt Obi-Wan, upset him with the people's plight. I try to use as much Star Wars language as I can, it makes the story seem more real to me. Thanks for reviewing!

A/N: I didn't like this chappie very much. The language doesn't flow to me. Maybe I'm just being an overly analytical writer, as we often are, but still… I don't know. It's shorter then the others too. Maybe I'm just a little stressed over prom tomorrow. A dance should not be this stressful. Sorry to all of you Qui-Gon lovers about him not being in this chappie, but he's still flying to Tarria and the journey takes a few days, so there's really nothing going on with him. Anyway, let me know what you thought, constructive criticism or suggestions are always good. Please review, later!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or Jedi Apprentice, please don't sue me.

WARNING: Jedi Quest spoilers. Sexual implications/comments, for the most part non-graphic but not meant for the squeamish. Some sad stuff. A little bit of violence and implied violence. All in all this chapter's pretty intense in my opinion, just to warn everyone. That means you Chels, no calling me and acting all innocent like you're permanently traumatized.

Chapter 6 

I want you to remember  
A love so full it could send us all ways  
I want you to surrender  
All my feelings rose today  
And I want you to remain  
The power of children can amaze  
I'll try not to complain  
I know that's a pisser baby  
The chemicals between us  
The walls that lie between us  
Lying in this bed  
The chemicals displaced  
There is no lonelier place  
Than lying in this bed  
-Bush

Obi-Wan

Sunlight streamed through the cracked walls of Obi-Wan's temporary cell, chasing away the chilly night air. He welcomed the heat, but day or night made no difference to him. He couldn't sleep after his encounter with Xanatos.

The gentle sunlight soon turned into a blistering fog of heat, and sweatdrops beaded Obi-Wan's brow, the salty liquid stinging his eyes. He wiped his forehead with the sleeve of his tunic. The temperature was extremely uncomfortable, and it was still morning. Heat. Unbearable heat. Similar to what he had felt the night before, but in a different way.

He sighed in frustration and stood. After a moment of pacing he kneeled on his haunches, unable to rid himself of restlessness. Finally, he sat back, hoping to mediate.

_I'll accept anything if it gets me away from thinking of this feeling. _

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Xanatos

Xanatos slid on his black tunic and deep blue boots. The air was hot and heavy, but he wouldn't change out of the dark colors.

"Sir?" A voice asked from the doorway. Another nameless soldier. Xanatos turned to look at him.

"The speeders carrying the prisoners are quickly approaching out destination," he reported. "We will lose communication with them while in the forest, but there's no reason why they won't make it. The beasts can't stop speeders.

Xanatos nodded. "Good. We leave in 10 minutes, get the Jedi."

The man left without another word.

I'll be happy when I don't have to deal with these idiots any longer. In two weeks, at the longest, Qui-Gon will be dead, the mercenaries will be paid and gone, and Obi-Wan…

Xanatos paused in mid-walk to the door.

Where will Obi-Wan be? I told him in the beginning that I was going to kill him along with Qui-Gon, but am I really?

Rubbing his temples, trying to alleviate the oncoming headache, Xanatos exited the ancient building.

Outside the soldiers stood waiting for their orders. Xanatos was pleased to see that none of them were fanning themselves or complaining about the heat, excepting the idiot Gerrith.

Everich, the man that Xanatos had placed in-charge of the soldiers, mostly to avoid his own interaction with them, approached.

"Move them out," Xnataos ordered him. "They know the way."

Everich did as he was told. Of course he did, he's nothing more then a hunter-for-hire. He follows orders without individual regard. Xanatos was pleased and disgusted with him at the same time.

The group began their advancement through the vapor-soaked forest. After a few minutes Xanatos sought out Obi-Wan and fell into step beside him. He reached out, tore off a piece of Obi-Wan's robe, and then dropped the small scrap on the ground.

"What are you doing?" Obi-Wan demanded in an angry voice, pulling back.

"Leaving Qui-Gon a clue," Xanatos smirked.

Obi-Wan glared at him for a moment, but it was too hot for anyone to focus on anything else. "I'm so happy that you brought me to a planet with such nice weather," he commented sarcastically, all the while attempting to wipe a bead of sweat off his cheek with cuffed hands.

A vein pulsed in Xanatos's forehead as he glared at Obi-Wan.

So that's how we're going this huh? He's going to pretend like nothing happened last night? Like he didn't kiss me?

"Don't worry," Xanatos responded. "We'll only be walking in the heat for a few days, a week at the most. Then we'll be at the academy."

Obi-Wan continued to stare ahead for a moment. "How's your wound?" he asked, almost too quietly for Xanatos to hear.

"Fine," Xanatos batted away a nasty looking jumin bug. "Your ankle?"

"I'll live."

_Why is this so uncomfortable?_

A cool breeze suddenly chilled the layer of sweat over Xanatos's skin. Surprised, he glanced up at the sky. To the East was a wave of black clouds.

"Storm's coming," a soldier mumbled.

Xanatos took his lightsaber off his belt and tucked it inside the safe layers of his cloak. The last thing he needed was for his saber to short out when the rain hit them. After a moment of thought he did the same to Obi-Wan's, which was also on his belt.

"Anything has to be better then the heat," Obi-Wan commented, staring at the ominous clouds that were about to beat the sun into submission.

"That's what you think," Xanatos mumbled. "You've never been in one of these Tarrian storms."

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Qui-Gon

"There's a storm brewing," the pilot informed the solemn Jedi knight.

The starship was hovering over Tarria's atmosphere, and even from space the dark clouds could be seen.

"Can you still land?" Qui-Gon asked, trying not to show his irritation.

_How can this be happening? I can't delay any longer, I have to find Obi-Wan!_

"Yeah," the pilot nodded, relieving Qui-Gon. "There's something that looks like a town down there. I could land there."

Qui-Gon assumed that was where the old factories were. Xanatos would expect him to land in the greatest outcropping; it would be the easiest way to get on Tarria's surface.

"No," Qui-Gon said thoughtfully. "Not there. Let's find someplace else to land."

The pilot shrugged. "Your choice. That might take a little while though, this place is all forest."

Qui-Gon felt frustrated. They couldn't land someplace that Xanatos wanted them to land, that was suicide, but he didn't have the _time_ to hunt for another opening. He brushed a tired hand across his eyes, then shook his head. "No, we don't have the time to search. Land in the factory development. I'll deal with whatever is waiting for me."

A few buttons were switched and, in moments, the ship descended toward the outcropping. The landing was smooth and without apparent problems. However, something was… off.

"Wait here," Qui-Gon said. He strode to the landing ramp, keeping a close eye on it as it lowered. Something was wrong.

Of course, Qui-Gon was not disappointed. The moment he stepped onto the ramp a rain of blaster fire fell around him. Luckily, his lightsaber was ignited and in his hands before the first shot was fired.

He deflected the first stream of fire, but it just kept coming, and seemingly from everywhere. He leaped off the ramp and ducked behind it, using it as a shield. He was able to glance around the edge of the ramp well enough to see that there were three men about 50 yards away, brandishing high-tech, updated blasters. He couldn't tell where the other shots were coming from.

_Who are they? Since when does Xanatos work with others? _Qui-Gon's surprised thoughts were quickly brushed away. _Xanatos _doesn't_ work with others, he uses them._

_Another delay_, Qui-Gon thought in disgust. It was only three men, but they were three heavily armed men, and he had no way of surprising them.

The entire area was overgrown with plant life, making the ground uneven. There was an ancient landspeeder parked in front of a factory 20 yards away. If he could get to that, he could take cover. From there he'd have a better shot at the men.

It took him a precious second to process this, and another half a second to decide on it. He shot out from under the ramp and ran for the landspeeder. Blaster fire tore apart the land around him, but he was not hit. He crouched behind his makeshift shelter and considered his next move. There was nothing else to take cover behind, and he was at least 30 yards away. The only option he had was to take them head-on.

The sun glinted off the roof, and he noticed something. Perhaps he wouldn't have to charge them. He deactivated his lightsaber and crouched into a concentrative position, accessing the force. He heard a satisfying crashing sound and stood to survey the damage.

He had used the force to push the loose duracrete off the neighboring building's roof. The heavy material had crash landed right on top of the strange men.

Two of them were completely buried; the third was only buried from the chest down. The man grimaced in pain and flicked something on his wrist. Blaster fire rained around Qui-Gon.

Without his Jedi training he would have been dead, but Qui-Gon's reflexes were quick and he easily deflected the fire. It was coming from mounted blaster rifles, set to fire on a trigger. But they had no aim, and with a few easy swipes from that green blade they were nothing more then scrap metal.

Well that explains the heavy fire.

Qui-Gon returned to the waste pile and knelt in front of the conscious man. "You're working for Xanatos?"

He didn't say anything, just kept his dark eyes on Qui-Gon. Now that they were close he could see that the man had a robotic arm. He had dark features, almost resembling a Mandalorian.

"I don't have the time for your loyalty," Qui-Gon said. "My apprentice has been kidnapped, and I need you to tell me what you know."

"Or what Jedi?" the mercenary demanded with a cocky look on his face.

Frustration flooded Qui-Gon. It was always the tough guy routine with these mercenaries.

"I'll pay you for your information," Qui-Gon said through forced calm.

The mercenary let out a pained laugh, which turned into a cough. The weight on his ribs was heavy. "Then I'd be a sell-out. No one would hire me."

Qui-Gon was really losing his calm. "Look," he started. "You're trapped under heavy duracrete that you can't possibly move alone, do you want my help or not?"

The man grimaced, then pressed another button on his robotic arm. He broke into convulsions, and a line of saliva dribbled down his chin. His eyes rolled back into his head and he fell limp on the ground.

_The arm was programmed to inject poison into his system_, Qui-Gon thought. _The things that people in this galaxy do._

The man left a worried feeling inside Qui-Gon. _If Xanatos hired these men like I think he did, how many others have been hired? And why? He wants to kill me himself, not with mercenaries. What's going on?_

He stood and walked around the camp. He could see clear signs of a recent departure. It seemed that they were only a few days ahead of him. The only thing that worried him were the two different routes. He could see the scorch marks of speeders and swoop bikes heading East, but there were footprints heading North. Once again he felt the wave of frustration.

Xanatos wants me to follow one of these paths, but which one? And which one will actually lead me to Obi-Wan?

Rain began to fall around him. He pulled up his hood and began to walk through the abandoned buildings, hoping for some sign. He found a few leftover weapons that looked new, but nothing else. He sighed and crouched to his haunches, staring at the paths once again. Then something caught his eye. A few feet ahead of the first footprints was a small brown piece, a different shade then the dirt around it. Qui-Gon walked forward and lifted up the piece, immediately recognizing the material. _A Jedi cloak._

He returned to the ship to tell the pilot to wait there until he came back with his Padawan.

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Obi-Wan

Rain was pelting the ground roughly, and Obi-Wan was thankful for his hood. The cuffs were getting painful; the rainwater was catching underneath them, making his skin itch.

Tents were being set up out of thermacloth. He had learned the night before that, though the days were muggy, the nights were near freezing. He'd never seen a planet with such drastic weather patterns.

Obi-Wan had been memorizing the landscape and any signs that might help him later when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I want to talk to you," Xanatos said, leading him to a tent.

Knowing that he really didn't have a choice, Obi-Wan followed without complaint.

The inside of the tent was simple. It had a flap opening on one end, then a floor, a ceiling, and three walls made of thermacloth. Xanatos turned on a glow rod to illuminate the dim tent. The entire atmosphere of the place was a little too eerie for

Obi-Wan. Not just the shadowy lighting, but also the loud patter that the rain made on the temporary roof.

Obi-Wan sat down on the cloth floor, watching Xanatos. After laying the glow rod on the ground and setting a drink in front of Obi-Wan he had turned and stared at the wall, unmoving. The older man had said that he wanted to talk, but he had barely looked at Obi-Wan since they came into the tent.

He swished the liquid in its cup, but didn't drink it. He didn't know what it was, but it was probably alcoholic and he certainly didn't need that kind of influence. It was hard enough being around Xanatos without it.

Several minutes passed, and just when Obi-Wan thought that they were going to spend the night in creepy silence Xanatos turned. The young Jedi was surprised to see that he actually looked amused as well.

"You've got to be the biggest tease I've ever met."

Obi-Wan was taken aback by the statement, and he stared up at Xanatos from his sitting position for a moment after it was spoken.

"I'm not a tease!" He finally said defensively. "You're just moody. It's hard to know what you want."

Xanatos scoffed. "You've lived a sheltered life, but even a Jedi has to know what I want.

Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably. He couldn't think of a response to that.

"What?" Xanatos smirked. "Is our witty banter over already? Just like Qui-Gon, can't seem to keep up."

This time it was Obi-Wan who smirked. "Qui-Gon could be just as verbose as you if he wanted, he just has more important things to do."

"Like what? Lie and betray?"

Heat rose in Obi-Wan's face. "We've had this conversation before. He did not betray you, or lie to you, you did it that to him."

"You trust him without any reason," Xanatos said sharply. "Everyone has secrets. Dark secrets. Just because you're his apprentice doesn't mean that you know half, or any of his."

"And you do?" Demanded Obi-Wan.

"I don't have to," he waved his hand dismissively. "I know they're there."

"What about you?" Obi-Wan set his untouched drink down. "What are your secrets?"

Xanatos looked surprised for a moment, but he recovered quickly. He lifted an eyebrow. "Are you going to tell me yours?'

"I don't have any."

"But you do," Xanatos smiled. "Even if you didn't before. Tell me, if by some miracle Qui-Gon does save you, what will you tell him when he asks what happened during your kidnapping?"

Obi-Wan stared at him in shock. _Tell Qui-Gon? What _will_ I tell Qui-Gon? I can't…_

Lifting an eyebrow and smirking, Xanatos continued to stare at the boy. "You see…"

"I left the Jedi order," Obi-Wan interrupted, wanting to say something, anything to get him to stop. _I can't think about this now._

"It was years ago," Obi-Wan continued. "That's probably the worst secret I have, though I don't know how much of a secret it is. The Jedi council knows, as do many of the other Jedi."

"Bruck mentioned something about that to me before, you know, you killed him."

Obi-Wan flinched, just as Xanatos knew he would. It was a direct jab into a painful wound that Xanatos had always been able to find ever since that fateful battle between Obi-Wan and Bruck. Bruck Chun had betrayed the Jedi by helping Xanatos infiltrate the temple. Obi-Wan had fought him by the waterfall while the water was turned off. When the water turned on he got out of the way, but Bruck didn't. He hadn't been able to forgive himself for not saving the other boy. He could still hear the cracking sound that Bruck had made when he hit the rocks.

"After all that you've done, you still have to remind me of that," Obi-Wan said, not looking at Xanatos.

The older man finally sat down, directly in front of Obi-Wan. "Why did you leave the order?"

Obi-Wan paused for a moment. "No mocking."

"I won't."

"Qui-Gon and I were on a mission to a planet called Melida/Daan. The Melida and the Daan were locked in a violent Civil War. There was this group of young rebels; they were both Melida and Daan. They were called the 'Young,' but their goal wasn't destruction. It was peace…" Obi-Wan paused, his heart constricting in pain as he remembered. "They believed in their cause so much. They seemed so right."

"And you were swept away," Xanatos said softly. "I guess you and I aren't so different."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I left the order to help a wounded planet. You left to help yourself, and to seek revenge."

"So you're saying that your choice to betray your master and turn your back on the order that you swore to was completely unselfish?"

"I went back," Obi-Wan argued.

Xanatos smirked. "And of course you were forgiven by the great Qui-Gon Jinn."

"It took time," Obi-Wan defended. "Actually I have you and Bruck to thank for it. The problems you caused at the temple ended up helping Qui-Gon and I to heal."

"Then the attack was a mistake entirely."

Anger trickled through Obi-Wan, but he forced himself to let it go. _If I get upset then he wins._

"What about you? What's your secret?" Obi-Wan asked instead.

Xanatos paused, hesitating for a moment.

"I have a son."

Obi-Wan felt his mouth drop open in gaping shock.

With a shrug Xanatos smiled and nodded. "He's young, but he's smart. He's on Telos with his mother."

"His mother?" Obi-Wan asked, feeling a little guilty.

Xanatos shook his head. "Just a woman, other then the child I have no ties to her."

"Obviously I'm surprised," Obi-Wan said. "I would have thought that a father would want to be home, raising and teaching his son. Not engaging in dangerous battles with Jedi for simple revenge."

"My revenge is not simple," Xanatos said sharply. "And my son is not what I hoped for."

"Not what you hoped for? How can you say that?" Obi-Wan demanded.

"When she told me about the pregnancy I had hoped for a child with force sensitivity. I didn't get it."

"So what? You're going to disown him over it?"

"Of course not," snapped Xanatos. "But when I'm around him I have trouble feeling anything other then disappointment, and I think he knows it. It's not fair to him either."

"You could…"

"Why did you return to the order?" Xanatos interrupted.

"What?" Obi-Wan asked. Panic filled him as the memories flooded back. "I thought that we were done talking about that."

"I'd like to know," Xanatos responded simply.

Obi-Wan stared at him blankly. _I don't want to share the memory of her with him. Yet I do. I don't think he'd understand. Would he even try?_

_Can I even tell him no?_

"There was this girl," Obi-Wan started. "Her name was Cerasi. She was a member of the Young, the one who showed them to Qui-Gon and I. She was so full of life and energy, and she had these green eyes that seemed to glow with this… light, from inside. After Qui-Gon left we won. We succeeded in stopping the war, the Young were in charge. But a battle between the Melida/Daan adults and the Young was brewing, so Cerasi went to stop it. She hated fighting with all her heart."

He felt his hands start shaking. "She was shot. I still remember the look on her face when it happened. I'll never forget it."

Silence hung in the air before he finally continued.

"I guess I just don't handle death well," He commented bitterly. "They all seem to haunt me. Cerasi, Bruck, and the last mission– I suppose you know that Qui-Gon and I failed our last mission?"

Xanatos nodded. "I knew that something bad had happened."

"It should have been a simple mission. Just protection… but they came so fast… before I even knew what was happening…" Obi-Wan sucked in a shuddering breath. "The queen's daughter was with us. She was 7-years-old. One of the guards was teaching her to play pazaak," Obi-Wan laughed a little. "Can you imagine? What little girl wants to play pazaak? Dejarik was too confusing for her though, so I guess it was the only option…" he knew that he was rambling about nothing, and that Xanatos probably thought that he was an idiot, but he couldn't help it. There was a burning sensation behind his eyes and his thoughts grew muddled. The only thing he could let himself think about was the girl and her pazaak. "When I found her later I… I could barely recognize her through all the blood and…"

He was surprised to feel water on his cheeks.

_Ha_, he thought bitterly. _I'm crying in front of Xanatos. That's like waving a carcass in front of a draigon._

Hoping to be able to stop the flow of tears, he stared hard at the ground, counting the thermacloth fibers. At least, until his vision was blocked by a black cloak.

"Xanatos?" He asked softly as he felt warm arms wrap around him. He responded to the hug and buried his face in Xanatos's shoulder.

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Qui-Gon

Qui-Gon decided against taking a swoop, afraid that its noise would alert Xanatos to his presence. He wanted as much surprise advantage as he could get. He had also decided to travel through the night, though it was difficult to see even with a glow rod.

He looked for more signs as he traveled down the path, but excepting the ordinary muddy footprint or broken twig there were none. He couldn't lose the trail however; Xanatos had not tried to hide the their route. The path itself was man-made, Qui-Gon could easily see where trees had been cut down and removed.

_He's put a lot of effort into this…_

A low sound interrupted Qui-Gon's thought. It was a mix between a hiss and a growl. Laying his hand on his lightsaber, he slowly turned around and came face to face with the nastiest looking wild cat he'd ever seen.

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Obi-Wan

Eventually Obi-Wan pulled away from Xanatos's warmth.

"I never had you pegged for the type to comfort," Obi-Wan said, staring at the ground.

"I'm not, but watching someone cry is awkward. You pretty much have to do something. It doesn't mean that I feel bad."

Obi-Wan shook his head, still not raising his eyes from the floor. "You always have an excuse."

He felt the tips of warm fingers trail down his jaw line. "Can I kiss you?'

Obi-Wan was surprised for the umpteenth time that night. Not about the question itself, but the fact that Xanatos _asked_.

"Yes," he said, without fully thinking in his emotionally muddled state.

The friction between their lips sent those familiar chills down Obi-Wan's spine and washed away the mourning that his head was focused on. He felt happy and sick at the same time.

There were no interruptions like before, and every movement seemed to flow naturally. In the back of his mind Obi-Wan knew that he shouldn't be consenting to this, but he didn't want to stop it. He didn't even know if he could. Soon his bare back was pressed against the warm cloth.

Some things about it were less then perfect. The air around them was freezing even in their heated state, and Xanatos's bandage was rough and a little painful against his skin. But there was this bursting feeling in his chest that couldn't be ruined by anything around him. The breathy kisses that fell any place they could reach and the skin-to-skin contact made the exhilarating feeling even worse. He felt like his heart was going to explode.

When it was over Xanatos collapsed beside him. They slept in an entanglement of arms and warmth that Obi-Wan never wanted to leave.

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Staryday: I don't know about all that, but I do what I can. You're only impressed because you haven't read other Star Wars fics, we have some really talented writers in this section. I'm just an amateur. Thanks for the review!

An-angel-in-hell: Ha then you probably LOVED this chapter. I'm glad you like the story. Yeah Obi-Wan is a little emo in the first chapter, but I kind of meant to do that. I really wanted to convey the sadness.

Myfictionalannihilation: Ok I think you're enjoying this fic a little too much! Thanks for reviewing and thanks for agreeing to be my beta.

Rian Sage: Thanks for being such a loyal reader. But who will protect Qui-Gon from the beasts?

**A/N**: Yeah so I hope that no ones too freaked out by the sex scene. I tried to keep it as non-graphic as possible, and it's more "implied" sex then anything else. But personally I think that sex is a beautiful, natural thing between two people who care for each other so I really wanted it in here. Sorry, but you can't say I didn't warn you (points to top). I even used the word "intense." I'd also like to apologize for something I realized just a few moments ago: Obi-Wan is really emo in this fic. I went through some of my other fanfics and realized that I _always_ make him that way. I don't know why either, it's just this weird thing I do. I'm sorry to anyone that's bothered by that.

Also, this fic is going to have to be looked at as A/U since in it Xanatos tells Obi-Wan that he has a son and in the Jedi Quest series Obi-Wan doesn't know.

Thanks for reading, please review!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or Jedi Apprentice, please don't sue me.

**Chapter 7**

If I had to  
I would put myself right beside you  
So let me ask  
Would you like that?  
Would you like that?

And I don't mind  
If you say this love is the last time  
So now I'll ask  
Do you like that?  
Do you like that?

-Breaking Benjamin

Qui-Gon

A low sound startled Qui-Gon. It was a mix between a hiss and a growl. Laying his hand on his lightsaber, he slowly turned around and came face to face with the nastiest looking wild cat he'd ever seen.

There was no place to run. The land was dotted with large trees that he could easily climb, but it was doubtless that the vicious cat could not. He would have to fight it.

He was not looking forward to it.

The creature sauntered over to him, expecting easy prey and taking it's time. If he hadn't known better, Qui-Gon would have sworn that it was smiling.

_I've fought horrible creatures before_, he told himself. _This cat is no different. It's just my fear for Obi-Wan and the dark night playing tricks on me. But something's wrong._

_I can't sense it._

This realization hit Qui-Gon like a duracrete wall. Was the animal a void?

Before Qui-Gon could seek the answer the cat lunged at him, and he narrowly avoided it. He was fast, but so was the creature.

His lightsaber twirled in front of him in an attempt to scare the cat off, but to no prevail. He feinted to the right then swung his lightsaber to the left, killing the creature. The smell of burnt flesh was nauseating.

Qui-Gon deactived and wrinkled his nose, staring at the carcass.

A sharp pain shot through him and he fell to the ground. Clutched to his left arm was a smaller version of the cat he had just killed. A youngling?

The creature continued to deepen its oral grip on Qui-Gon's arm. With a little sadness he killed the small cat and, with great effort, pried the teeth out of his arm. A wave of blood gushed from the wound and Qui-Gon clutched it tightly, hoping to stop the bleeding. The youngling had bit the inside of his elbow, and a major vein was there. He knelt by a tree and pulled off his survival pack, looking for the bacta and bandages.

Dizziness was beginning to wash over him. He couldn't imagine what it'd be like if an adult had bit him.

He began to not care about the bacta and simply wanted the bandage to stop the bleeding. He knew that if he passed out there he probably wouldn't ever get up. He would either die of blood loss or one of the cats would eat him.

Eventually his hand closed around the roll of bandages and he yanked them out of the bag. He was shaking as he bandaged the wound.

The sun began to rise and as he wobbled to his feet. His vision was blurring in front of him, but he knew that he had to keep going. For the sake of Obi-Wan, and anyone else Xanatos was intending to hurt.

He had only walked a few yards before he collapsed.

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Xanatos

The bark was rough and sticky beneath his fingertips. He pressed against the tree trunk harder, dragging his hands down it. In the process he reopened the scabbed over wound on his right palm.

_What was I thinking?_

The sun was rising, bleeding red across the sky. Xanatos had risen and gone outside before her first rays had even appeared. He left the sleeping boy, and his warmth, where he was. He went outside to sort out his emotions and, if necessary, bury them so deep they would never come back.

Blood trickled down from Xanatos's palm. It was the second time that Jedi had forced him to injure his hand. The first time, however, the pain had been from a shattered cup.

But the circumstances were so different now.

He shut his eyes against the sun's light, wanting it to go away. There was nothing he wanted more then to stay in the night before forever. Nothing in his life had ever brought such elation and doubt, thrill and fear before. There was something coiled tightly in his chest, and with every second the coil threatened to burst.

_What the Sith was I thinking? _

It was a mistake, a foolish error that would just become an obstacle in his plan. But, suddenly, his plan didn't seem quite so important.

_No one's ever trusted me like that. I kidnapped him, I hurt him, he had no reason to trust me. Still, he did._

_I have to stop this now. I have to make him hate me, now before it's too late. I may not be able to control my own feelings, but I can certainly destroy his. Before it matters to him. _

_It already matters more then it should for me. It already matters too much._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Obi-Wan

He woke up alone.

The sun's light and the humidity woke Obi-Wan up, but Xanatos wasn't there. He dressed quickly, feeling ashamed about what he'd let happen. How many Jedi rules had he broken in the last 24 hours just to wake up by himself? He felt angry.

But mostly he felt used.

Had Xanatos meant anything that he'd said? Was this all planned? From the beginning, had he intended all of this to happen?

Obi-Wan's blood heated at the thought. He yanked his boot over his swollen ankle, and then rested his head in his hands.

_I need to get out of here,_ he thought. _I can't stay around him anymore. Not after last night. I'm not even sure if I can stand being around myself._

_But what about the prisoners? I can't just abandon them. He's going to _kill_ them._

"No sign of your master," came the voice that Obi-Wan knew all too well. "He must be slower then I expected."

"Or just too good for you to catch."

Xanatos smirked. "I haven't had a problem catching anything else so far."

Obi-Wan's face reddened in anger and shame. _So that _is _what this has been about, this entire time he's simply been trying to say that we're all his puppets, and we play right into his hands. What an actor._

"We're leaving in a few minutes," Xanatos took Obi-Wan's hands and cuffed them. "Go outside, there's a guard waiting."

Refusing to look at Xanatos, he rose stiffly and walked to the door. But he couldn't help himself; he stopped at the tent's exit and glanced back at the older man. Xanatos was picking up his gear, and a glint from inside his bag caught Obi-Wan's eye.

_It was pyramid shaped_, Obi-Wan's heart quickened. _Could it be…? So that's how he was going to get into the old Sith academy, by using their own tricks. A Sith holocron. The only devices that held the secrets of the Sith._

Obi-Wan quickly turned and left the tent, feeling a little better about his predicament. At least he wasn't completely oblivious now.

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Qui-Gon

A cool breeze was blowing across his face.

_That's strange, I should be overheated, especially after laying in the sun…_

He cautiously opened his eyes, but instead of seeing the blue sky he saw a birch roof. He quickly glanced in the direction of the breeze. Sitting there was a small, dark-skinned child and a large leaf that he was waving next to Qui-Gon.

"Mama!" the boy called. "He's awake!"

Qui-Gon shot up in shock. People? A family? On _Tarria_?

A woman entered the room. "How are you feeling?" She sat next to the make-shift sleep couch that Qui-Gon was laying on.

"Alright," He said carefully. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Several hours, my oldest boy found you bleeding from a Clarath bite wound, so he brought you back here. He's out with the hunting party now, but he'll be back soon."

"Hunting party?" repeated Qui-Gon in shock. "There are more of you?"

"Yes," responded the woman, who now sounded a little surprised and cautious. "We're a village."

"On _Tarria_?"

"It is our home."

Qui-Gon shook his head, clearing out his muggy thoughts. _They can help me, they know the terrain._

"I'm looking for someone," Qui-Gon started. "I think that he's traveling with a large group. He's taken someone I care about, and I'd like to get him back."

"You mean the man with the scar?"

"Yes," Qui-Gon responded immediately. "You know him?"

"He came to us several moon changes ago. He offered us credits and many things for our assistance, but we said no. He reeked of darkness, and he was looking for a place of which we do not speak."

Qui-Gon's blood chilled. "The Sith Academy?"

"I said that we do not speak of it!" She rose in anger.

"I'm sorry," Qui-Gon said quickly. "I didn't mean to upset you. It's just that, the last time I spoke to my friend he said that Xanatos's goal was not the Sith academy, but to start a war between neighboring worlds."

"I do not know what his plans or his goals are, but the evil place is what he was asking after."

"I don't suppose you could tell me how to get there?"

She looked at him in shock. "Why would you want to go there?"

"If that's where he's taking my friend I need to go sooner rather then later. Besides, I have a feeling that whatever he intends to do there is going to affect the lives of those in your village as well."

She looked thoughtful. "When my husband returns you may speak to him about this. It is not my place."

Qui-Gon nodded. He hated the delay, but the villagers' help could be useful.

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Xanatos

Obi-Wan hadn't looked at him since the incident that morning, but Xanatos couldn't stop staring at Obi-Wan. He had even fallen back in the group so he could watch him without the boy's knowledge.

He'd said hurtful things that morning, and Obi-Wan had reacted to them the way he'd wanted the boy to react. It would be easy to make the Jedi hate him.

Though Xanatos couldn't help but feel like what he'd said earlier hurt him more then Obi-Wan. This dilemma wasn't helped by the fact that he had no idea where Qui-Gon was. He had vanished off of the dark Jedi's radar. That made Xanatos nervous.

Xanatos sighed. They would be at their resting place soon. Maybe after sleeping all of this would be easier.

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MyFictionalAnnihilation: Well, I'm glad that you like it. I hope that you continue to, especially after this update. I asked you to be my beta awhile back, and I appreciate you saying yes, but I think that I've decided I'm just going to beta this story from now on myself. I don't have the patience to wait for responses and such, but thank you anyway.

An-angel-in-hell: Wow, I think that the fact that you put "Hooray! Sex!" Makes that my favorite review of all time. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!

Child of a Pineapple: I kicked my butt in gear to have this chapter up before you leave for Myrtle Beach, so you'd better appreciate it! Gosh, pushy. Yeah FAKE was pretty graphic at the end there, but it was hot, and you know it. I hope that this chapter wasn't too disappointing compared to the last one.

Staryday: I hope you like the update, please review!

Rian Sage: Ha yep, _very_ good hands. Or at least he was, now they're kind of… gone, but oh well. I hope you liked this update, please review.

**A/N**: (Hides) So this chappie took forever to update, and it's kind of crappy, but you still love me right? Please don't kill me… The next chappie will be better, I promise! Or, at least, I hope. I love you? In my defense I've been busy. Anyway, please review!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or Jedi Apprentice, please don't sue me.

**Chapter 8**

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole  
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for  
That's not lip service  
You've already won me over in spite of me  
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
I couldn't help it  
It's all your fault

-Alanis Morisette

Qui-Gon

The village woman's husband turned out to be the village leader. He was not fond of Qui-Gon's idea; he didn't want his people to be connected to that "evil place" in any way.

"I don't think you understand," Qui-Gon shook his head. "If Xanatos is heading to the academy, who knows what he intends to do there. Your people could be in danger."

"We've survived on this planet since before the manufacturers came, and even after their blood drove the beasts insane. One man will not destroy our civilization," the Chief's voice was even and proud.

Frustration set in. Ignorance is one thing, but when you know about danger you should do something to stop it. "Xanatos isn't just one man. He's very dangerous, he nearly destroyed the Jedi temple…"

"This conversation is done," the Chief interrupted. "My son will take you back to your path, but after that your mission is your own."

Qui-Gon sighed. This entire meeting had wasted precious time, and no good had come of it.

_I'm going to have to save Obi-Wan by myself._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Obi-Wan

_He needs it, I'm sure. That holocron has to be showing him something. If I remove the holocron, then maybe he won't be able to kill those people. _

He watched the men around him set up camp again. He had lost track of the amount of days that he'd been their prisoner. Counting at all was useless; the temple seemed like a lifetime ago. At this point in time, the only thing Obi-Wan could focus on was his hate for Xanatos, and his longing to save those people. Those were the only emotions he would allow himself to think about.

Hate was not the Jedi way, but Obi-Wan felt that he had the right to make an exception.

Xanatos caught his eye, and he recognized the black bag slung over the older man's shoulder. There was no way that the dark Jedi was letting the holocron out of sight. He went into his tent.

_A distraction is what I need_, thought Obi-Wan. _But how?_

As if someone was listening to his silent pleas, the most convenient thing in the world happened. One of the guards set his blaster down to help set up a tent, and there was no one guarding Obi-Wan. They all assumed that he was smart enough not to wonder off.

_I'll show them_, Obi-Wan thought, then stopped. _I just insulted myself, but that's not important now._

He moved over to the blaster at an even, casual stride, then glanced around. No one was paying any attention to him. It may be his only chance.

He dropped down and swiftly and seized the blaster along with a handful of rocks and dirt. In a moment he had shoved the blaster's barrel compact with the stuff, and dropped in back where it had been. The mercenaries often fire random shots into the woods to scary off any creatures. With any luck the blaster's laser wouldn't be able to cut through the stuff and end up backfiring. It would probably blow off the hunter's hand, but Obi-Wan wasn't really worried about that.

Moving into the group with the largest amount of men Obi-Wan simultaneously watched Xanatos's tent and the mercenary's blaster. A few of the men around the young Jedi looked at him suspiciously, but never for a long period of time. They just couldn't see how this teenage boy was a threat.

The bounty hunter returned to his blaster, lifting it off the ground and heading towards the camp's edging.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath.

_Showtime._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Qui-Gon

He knew that he would have no problem finding Xanatos, he was hardly covering up his path, but what really frustrated Qui-Gon was the time he lost hoping to recruit people to help him.

The beaten path was just a few feet ahead of him and his guide, the Chief's son.

"I'm sorry that we could not assist you further," the boy sounded genuinely sorry as he watched Qui-Gon walk ahead of him. "My father is stuck in the past."

Without another word the teenager turned and walked from Qui-Gon. He looked calm, but the Jedi could see from his strides that he was angry.

Suddenly the path in front of Qui-Gon looked longer and more ominous then before.

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Obi-Wan

He remained hovering near the group, impatiently watching the mercenary with the damaged blaster circle the camp. His nerves were frayed, and he was afraid of waiting any longer. He might go insane.

Glancing towards Xanatos's tent he saw that the dark Jedi was hovering outside of it, watching the men's progress. For a brief moment their blue eyes connected, but Obi-Wan quickly looked away.

_Don't do that_, he scolded himself.

A shout interrupted his thoughts, and he looked in its direction. A man was lying on the ground, bleeding from a stub that was once his right hand. Several people went over to investigate, including Xanatos. He looked livid.

Obi-Wan fell back in the crowd, then ducked into Xanatos's tent. He snatched the holocron out of the bag, which seemed to take two hours to open, and ran out of the tent in the first direction he could see. He didn't bother looking back to see if he'd been spotted, nor did he worry about the vibro-cuffs that were still on his hands. His only thought and emotion was a desperate need to get as far away as he could.

Nothing around him seemed tangible. Large plants whacked his face as he ran, and strange creatures and bugs jumped out of his path. The edges of his vision were foggy, giving everything a dreamlike quality.

A surreal dream that he couldn't wake up from.

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Xanatos

_Idiot_, Xanatos thought as he watched the man shout. Another mercenary was trying to bandage the wound, but the injured man's spastic movements made that impossible.

With a swish of his cloak he turned, not caring about the man's injury. He had feared that Qui-Gon had found them earlier then planned, but it turned out to be just another imbecile who didn't know how to properly use his weapon.

_You would think that with all the credits I'm paying them they would at least _pretend_ to know what they're doing._

He returned to his tent, pushing the flap aside. It was only a moment before he saw the contents of his survival pack strewn all over the floor.

"No," he said aloud.

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Obi-Wan

He ran.

Dirt kicked up around him, and bugs flew against his skin, making him itch, but he didn't stop. He knew that he had to get far enough, deep enough into the forest so that if he died no one would ever find the holocron. Especially not lying betrayers.

He turned at random intervals, though strange sounds or creepy animals brought on a few of them. He didn't know how long he had been running before he finally had to stop and breathe.

The sound of his breathing was foreign in his ears. Everything seemed so strange, and for a brief moment he wondered if this is what spice felt like when the addicts took it. He had a feeling of detachment from his body, like he was watching himself in a dream. The knowledge that he would probably be killed if he just stood against that tree for much longer was in his head, but he didn't register it. He wasn't even sure if he cared at all.

Pushing himself away from the tree he tried to ignore the shaking in his legs. He heard voices, and started running again. He wouldn't go back to that camp.

He would rather die.

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Xanatos

_How could I let this happen?_

_I should have known, he may be young but he's still a Jedi. I should have known that he'd try something like this. I should have known…_

Xanatos swore under his breath as he followed Obi-Wan's trail through the forest. It was easy enough; the boy obviously chose speed over secrecy. However, in the dense forest the plant life was strong, and many things went back to their rightful place after being pushed to the side. Obi-Wan's trail was already vanishing, and he would have to move fast if he wanted to catch the boy before it was too late.

Picking up speed, Xanatos began jogging down the trail. He avoided gaining too much ground for fear of mistaken a naturally disfigured plant for one that Obi-Wan had made. The last thing he needed was to get off the path.

_This is entirely my fault._

"Obi-Wan!" he called, hoping futilely that the Jedi would break and come out.

A few of the smaller animals ran at the sound of Xanatos's voice, but no Jedi. He wasn't all that surprised; he wouldn't have come out either.

He continued on his trek, deciding not to call again. It probably did nothing but make Obi-Wan run faster.

_I've already gone several kilometers from the camp, he has to be tired._

A moment after the thought passed Xanatos saw Obi-Wan turn into a group of close-knit trees several yards ahead of him.

He hurried forward and followed him. He could see the Jedi ahead.

"Obi-Wan stop," Xanatos called.

"Why should I?" Obi-Wan demanded, continuing his run.

"You'll die out here," Xanatos quickened his pace to follow.

But Obi-Wan didn't respond, and when Xanatos broke out of the thick tree-patch he was gone.

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Obi-Wan

_I wanted more time! I need to hide this thing!_

Obi-Wan could barely breath as he ran through the trees. Xanatos had caught up to fast, and he had to get away. Direction mattered even less now then it had before. It wasn't until the ground underneath his feet changed that Obi-Wan realized something was wrong. He was standing on a rickety wooden bridge.

_What?_ He silently asked himself. _Who built this bridge?_

"Obi-Wan."

The voice pulled him from his thoughts, and he turned to see Xanatos standing at the end of the bridge.

"Come here."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Not a chance."

Xanatos looked frustrated and annoyed, but Obi-Wan didn't care. He had that, at least, coming to him.

"That bridge isn't safe."

"Neither are you," Obi-Wan snapped, backing up a little. The bridge swayed unevenly, making him nervous. He hadn't noticed the deep ravine under his feet before, but he kept his false bravado up. He yanked the holocron out and held it over the drop. "I'd rather die out here, and even if I go back, your precious artifact won't."

"Then drop it," Xanatos said evenly. "I don't care. Just come back here, off of that thing. _Now_."

Obi-Wan froze for a minute. _More lies and tricks._

"I'm not going to trust you now, not after what's happened," Obi-Wan backed up another step.

Then a splintering sound.

Everything moved in slow motion from his eyes. The bridge gave way from beneath his feet, and even though he grabbed the rope when the bridge hit the wall he shook off, falling.

"Obi-Wan!"

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Obi-Wan

_Ow._

_Ok, my chest hurts, and my right arm, and my head… What happened? Where am I?_

Obi-Wan tried to open his eyes, but the small light illuminating the tent hurt, and he quickly closed them.

"Wha'?" He heard himself say.

"Do you remember the bridge?" this voice was familiar.

"Xanatos?" Obi-Wan opened his eyes again, ignoring the pain. "The bridge…"

He did remember now. It broke away beneath him, into that deep ravine.

"But how did I…?" His voice trailed off.

"Live?" Xanatos sat down next to Obi-Wan. "You grabbed the bridge when it broke, taking you to the wall. There was an outbreak of rock down lower that you luckily fell on. You didn't go all the way to the bottom of the ravine, if you had you would be dead."

Obi-Wan tried to nod, but it just made his head scream in protest.

"You have a scratch near your temple, and you reopened the wound on the back of your neck. Your arm is bruised, but nothing major there. I think that you might have broken a rib, but I can't be for sure out here. I bandaged your chest anyway."

Obi-Wan realized that he no longer had his shirt, and he could see the tight bandage used to keep his ribs from moving, as well as the dark bruises forming under it. He rolled over so he could see Xanatos better. "The holocron… where is it?"

He smirked.

"I guess I wouldn't tell me either."

"You're lucky you're alive."

"No, I'm lucky that you didn't leave me to die."

Xanatos paused for a moment, and then shook his head. "I wouldn't do that."

The Jedi watched him incredulously.

"You really scared me. I don't think that my heart started beating again until I got to the rock outbreak to find you alive."

For some reason, that comment made Obi-Wan angry.

"What is wrong with you?" He demanded.

Xanatos stared at him, as if not understanding what he meant.

"You say one thing, then completely contradict yourself in your very next sentence. No matter what's happening you're never honest. Doesn't that bother you?" Obi-Wan was having trouble breathing, and fatigue began to set in, but he ignored it. "Doesn't it bother you that you're a liar!"

Obi-Wan was shocked out of his thoughts when Xanatos leaned forward and kissed him. Even if he wasn't hurt, Obi-Wan couldn't be sure that he would have tried to push him away.

"I'm so sorry," Xanatos said when he sat back. For once he didn't look like a Sith pretender who had left the Jedi, or like an unstable murderer who cared only for himself. He looked normal. And he looked sad.

"It's alright," Obi-Wan said softly. It wasn't all right, it was far from all right, but he couldn't stand to see that look on Xanatos's face.

"I lied to you. I thought that this was something I could ignore, push away. Especially after what happened. I was hoping that if I ignored you, made you hate me, then I could hate you too."

Obi-Wan soaked up every word. He knew that Xanatos was the last person in the galaxy he should listen to, but at the same time he couldn't not listen, just like he couldn't not want to kiss him or be near him.

Xanatos's cobalt blue eyes looked uncertain as he watched Obi-Wan.

"I wanted to hate you too," Obi-Wan said slowly. "So much. But even after the way you treated me, even after thinking that you had used me, I couldn't. At the time, I didn't even want to go back to the temple; I just wanted to be alone. Completely alone in the forest."

"If you had stayed in that forest you would have died."

"I know that."

Silence hung other them for several minutes.

"You can hate me if you'd like," Xanatos said softly. "I wouldn't blame you. But I want you to know that I didn't plan this, any of this. I never intended to treat you like this. At the start you were just going to be bait to get Qui-Gon here. Honestly, I didn't see much beyond Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon's padawan. It was almost like you weren't even real."

Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "And now?"

"Now… you seem more real then anything else in my life."

Darkness had set outside, and cool air and seeped into the tent, but neither of them noticed.

_Is this really happening? Am I imagining all of this?_

There was a fist in Obi-Wan's chest, that seemed to be pulling everything inside of him magnetically to that point. It wasn't painful, but it was strong and it made him want to cry. He felt like the fist would let go at any minute and send every emotion spiraling through him, and he wasn't sure what he would do then.

He placed his head in his hands. "Why is this so hard?"

Xanatos smiled, but it was almost a sad smile. "I don't know. I wish that all of these complications were gone, but I don't think that they'll leave anytime soon."

"But neither will these feelings."

"No," Xanatos agreed. "These feelings won't go either."

"I wouldn't want them to."

"…I wouldn't either."

The forest's silent sounds were calming and invigorating at the same time. Obi-Wan leaned forward ignoring the pain, and kissed Xanatos. Xanatos's smell and taste were more calming then any fountains or meditation rooms. Why did the Jedi live without love? How could they give up _this_?

The moved apart, but only slightly. Obi-Wan could still feel Xanatos's breath on his cheek, and he relished in the warmth.

"What happens tomorrow?" He asked softly.

Worry was in Xanatos's eyes. "I don't know."

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**Child of a Pineapple**: I didn't mean to traumatize you, I'm sorry! I actually forgot about that cat incident. Of course, I'm sure when the bounty hunter got his hand blown off in this chappie it traumatized you too, but I did that on purpose. Yeah, I feel insanely bad for being mean to Xanatos. Oh well.

**Myfictionalannihilation**: I hope that you liked this chapter more.

**An-angel-in-hell**: I hope you liked this update; they'll be more on the holocron later.

**Staryday**: Thanks for help on the mistakes; I hope you liked the update!

**Blockofthewritingkind**: Did you ever find anymore Xan/Obi stories? I looked for some too. I hope this update quenched your need a little? I was thinking about writing a one-shot, but don't hold me to it.

**A/N**: I hope that the end scene wasn't too clichéd, and I also hope that nobodies too annoyed that you didn't get to hear more about the holocron. It comes back in later chappies, maybe even the next one, I promise, and then I'll explain its significance. Please review!


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or Jedi Apprentice.

**Chapter 9**

"All I want to do is lie in bed with you  
All I really ever need is you  
All I got to do is give up all I have to be with you

All I want to do is to be close to you  
All I want to do is to be next to you  
All I want is you to give up all we had to be  
I can't remember why I'm here  
If you'd let me spend my life with you"

-Sugarcult

Xanatos

He had slept a bare minimum throughout the night, alternating between watching Obi-Wan sleep and wondering what he was going to do. A raging storm distorted his thoughts, and he was having trouble separating feelings from facts.

_I don't know what I want anymore_, he realized, staring at the sleeping Jedi.

_But I know one thing that I want._

_I want to keep you._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Obi-Wan

It was nice to not wake up alone for once. Granted, Xanatos was not sleeping, but sitting up watching Obi-Wan sleep, but at least he was still _there_.

"Morning," Obi-Wan said groggily, sitting up and smiling.

"Morning," Xanatos said softly, returning the smile.

Obi-Wan stretched out his limbs and yawned. "It's already pretty bright outside…"

"I didn't want to wake you."

"Aren't you worried about the timeline for your 'plot'?" Obi-Wan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We have some extra time, Qui-Gon seems to have gotten delayed. He vanished off our radar for a while."

Obi-Wan sighed. "So you're still going through with it?"

"Yes," Xanatos responded simply. "I am. You may think that it's foolish, or that I'm clinging to something I should let go of, but it matters to me."

"Last night you told me that I mattered as well."

"You do," Xanatos said, but his voice had grown wary. "And?"

"If I really matter to you, you'll let this go," Obi-Wan said, turning his blue eyes to Xanatos with what he hoped was a compelling stare.

Xanatos was silent for a moment. "And if I did that, what would you do?"

Obi-Wan stiffened. "What do you mean?" He asked, though he knew exactly what Xanatos meant.

"Would you go back to the temple?"

That was the question Obi-Wan had been dreading, the question that he had refused to ask himself. "It's the only home I've ever known."

"That doesn't mean anything, it was my home for a long time as well."

"I'm not like you."

The tips of Xanatos's fingers brushed Obi-Wan's cheeks. "You don't have to be."

"What exactly are you proposing?" Obi-Wan asked, moving out of Xanatos's reach. He needed to think clearly, and having Xanatos do_ that _only caused him to act on impulse.

"I'll drop this plan. I'll drop everything that has to do with revenge on Qui-Gon," Xanatos paused. "But I have a condition."

Obi-Wan felt like his entire body had gone to sleep, tingles traced up and down his skin in a strange sensation, like tiny lightning bolts.

"I want you to leave Tarria with me."

He had been afraid of that. He knew that there would be decisions to make, inevitable, painful decisions.

But they just came so _soon_.

"My friends…" Obi-Wan said weakly.

Cobalt blue eyes studied him intently as he struggled with the words. Xanatos wasn't speaking, but Obi-Wan could sense his impatience.

"I can't just _leave _with you," Obi-Wan stared at the tent floor's fibers. "I have obligations."

"To Qui-Gon?" His voice didn't sound angry, but Obi-Wan knew that he was.

"To a lot of people."

"Alright," Xanatos gaze bore into Obi-Wan. "Then tell me, can you go back to the temple? Could you really return to your old life, after everything that's happened?"

Another question that Obi-Wan wasn't prepared to answer. The temple, the Jedi, they seemed like a distance memory now. He missed them, but could he live without them? That was something that he didn't know. He also didn't know what would happen if he was separated from Xanatos. The growing ball in his chest that had stolen so many of his feelings and given him so many new ones might be ripped out completely.

"We still have a day's travel to the academy. Think about it."

Obi-Wan nodded. He could think about it all he wanted, but that didn't mean he would ever have the answer.

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Qui-Gon

He was _exhausted_. Rest was appealing; it would help his nerves and he would be able to fight Xanatos when he found them. But on the other hand…

Delays made him _crazy_.

Qui-Gon leant his head against one of the hard trees for a moment, breathing deeply and shutting his eyes. He couldn't help but feel like he was doing Obi-Wan some sort of wrong by not being there yet.

_He'll be fine_, he tried to reassure himself. _Xanatos won't kill him until he knows that he has me. _

Tugging on their bond, he tried to tell Obi-Wan to hold on.

_I'm coming for you._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Obi-Wan

The jolt in the force was a shock.

_Qui-Gon._

It had been so long since Obi-Wan had last felt his force signature that it came as a shock when their bond shook.

_He's coming, he'll be here soon._

Obi-Wan didn't know whether or not that news relieved him.

_If only it was three days before now. I would be so happy that he found me; I would be so happy to go back. But now… what will happen to my heart now?_

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Xanatos

Obi-Wan had stiffened next to him as they walked. He had no idea what had just happened to upset the boy, and that upset _him_.

The entire group had packed up the tents to move forward. Xanatos knew that by evening they would be at the academy.

He knew what Obi-Wan would tell him then.

This was very close to being over. His chest twisted.

_Fine. I don't need this._

He turned to look at the boy walking next to him. Obi-Wan was staring straight ahead, his brow wrinkled in thought.

Xanatos didn't know what he was thinking.

That _upset_ him.

Pink speckled across the sky. Sunset.

A wave of energy washed over Xanatos, invigorating him and momentarily wiping away the grief that he was trying to bury. The same waved of energy hit Obi-Wan, he could tell. It had a very different effect on him; the boy suddenly looked sick. He turned to stare at Xanatos in shock.

They were so close.

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Obi-Wan

Every strip of energy that he had went into keeping him simply standing. Darkness was everywhere. He was _drowning_ in the dark side of the force. It pushed at him from all sides, and he didn't even realize that something had grabbed his arm.

"It's a shock at first," a fuzzy voice comment. He felt a tug on his wrist, urging him forward. "But it's easy to adapt too."

_No… I don't want to go farther…_

The tugging continued, but he didn't have the strength to argue or pull back, so he let himself be led forward, into more black.

"Focus on breathing."

Obi-Wan did as he was told, only because he couldn't think straight well enough to do anything else.

_Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale._

The darkness that had enveloped his vision began to ebb, and soon he could see the light pink in the sky. The fogginess began to fade away in his ears, and Xanatos's voice broke through clearly.

"See? It's not so bad."

Obi-Wan wanted to hit him. Then possibly sleep for the next week. He felt like his legs were made of duracrete and his arms were tingly and stiff. He was still having trouble distinguishing people from trees.

All of those could be ignore. The worse part had to be the voices.

_We killed them all._

_It was a nasty death; the blood was all over me when it was done. You should have heard her scream…_

_You aren't worth anything._

_Traitor!_

_It's not over until your enemy is dead._

The voices were all different, some were angry and some were just… disturbed. He yanked his hand out of Xanatos's grasp, attempting to cover his ears. It did nothing.

"Who are they?" He demanded.

"The voices?" Xanatos asked evenly. "Is that what the problem is? I hardly notice them anymore. There nothing but remaining force signatures."

_He can't betray you if you cut out his tongue._

"Who are they talking to?" Xanatos had taken his arm once again, pulling him forward.

"No one really," The older man responded. "They're nothing but trapped memories. Ignore them."

_Cut out his tongue, and leave him tied to drown in his own blood._

Nausea washed over him as the voices continued to chant in his ears. How could he ignore them? They were omnipresent.

All he could think about was moving his feet, one after the other. Everything else was impossible to focus on. Eventually he found himself standing still, and then he was pulled again. This time he had to duck. He was pushed on to a soft, fabric ground. He laid his head against the soft floor, wanting to sleep.

_Just kill her._

_He's worth nothing._

Cold water splashed across his face.

He shot into an upright position, gasping and shivering. There was nothing humming in his ears now; he could still feel the darkside, but it was muffled like an old holovid.

"Better?" Xanatos asked, laying a bottle on the ground.

Breathing in another shaky breath, Obi-Wan nodded.

"Good."

"Xanatos," Obi-Wan said, trying to keep his voice calm. "I need to talk to you. About what you said this morning…"

"Don't."

Obi-Wan looked at the other man, slightly confused.

"Not tonight. We have time, you can tell me in the morning," He looked slightly panicked.

Obi-Wan wiped the moisture off his face with his robe, then threw it off to the side. "Why wait?"

"Why not?" Xanatos asked, seizing his calm again. "Waiting won't hurt. Prolong the inevitable. If you say yes, then you'll just spend tonight dreading over what you're going to tell Qui-Gon tomorrow. Or the next day, because we _will_ see him. We have to go down that path to get back to my ship."

Xanatos paused, studying Obi-Wan's face. "And if you say no, wouldn't it be nice to have one last night together, ignoring the complications and problems that we'd have to face tomorrow?"

Obi-Wan stared down at his hands. One last night together. Would that make leaving all the worse?

I don't care how much more painful it makes it. One last night is worth it.

He looked up at Xanatos's blue eyes. They were calm and nonchalant, but Obi-Wan knew that under them Xanatos was just as tortured and empathetic as everyone else. He had just found a way to ignore those feelings.

_What if my leaving breaks him even farther? _

_Maybe he's not even attached to me enough for it to do any damage._

_All those people, can I really have their lives on my hands? I won't be killing them, but I could have saved them._

Cool hands touched the sides of his face.

"What are you thinking about?"

Before even thinking Obi-Wan clasped his own hands around Xanatos's. "Nothing."

The kiss that followed burnt his lips with longing and pain. Everything after it was sweet and intoxicating and unforgettable, and it wrenched at Obi-Wan's chest. His fingers tangled in Xanatos's black hair he wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all. That this was the last time he would be with Xanatos like that. He was being denied by his own loyalty. It wasn't right.

_Maybe I'm the one that's going to break._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Xanatos

The boy slept soundly next to him, still wrapped in his arms. It was warm where their bodies touched, but cold outside of that. He hardly noticed. He was too busy trying to swallow around the ball of dry fabric that had lodged itself in his throat. Breathing hurt. Everything hurt.

If anything he hated Qui-Gon and the Jedi even more now.

He kissed Obi-Wan's forehead.

"How dare they take you away from me," he said softly, not actually wanting to wake him. "It doesn't matter now."

He pulled him against his chest tighter.

"I won't let them."

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MyFictionalAnnihilation: Yay love!

Rian Sage: Thanks for the review! I was wondering who that anonymous review was from. I'm sorry, but I really can't prolong Qui-Gon's absence much longer. The story can't go on forever, though I know sometimes I wish it would.

Child of a Pineapple: Well… the story's not quite over yet, and either the next chapter or the one after it will have injury. Pretty bad injury. I'm not sure how you handle this particular type of injury, so you know you could be traumatized again…

Blockofthewritingkid: (taps foot) Do you have my cookies woman? Cause I updated (points) and in a pretty good time period too.

An-angel-in-hell: Nope, the holocron still exists. I couldn't destroy it, I need it. And about the happy thing, I think that you shouldn't hope for that too much, just so you have a heads up. Thanks for the review!

Staryday: Ha I'm glad you enjoyed it.

**A/N**: So they're finally at the academy. It only took me eight chapters to get them there, ha. There are only going to be a few more chapters to write, and it makes me said. (sniff). I always get depressed when I finish reading a book, writing a story, or playing a video game. The characters become such a big part of your life that it's such a shock when they're gone. Anyway, please review. Oh and for all of you Xan/Obi junkies, I'm working on a series of ficlets about them, you can find the link on my profile.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: (sigh) If I owned Jedi Apprentice Xanatos would so not be dead.

**Chapter 10**

I see the blood all over your hands  
Does it make you feel more like a man  
Was it all just a part of your plan  
The pistol's shakin' in my hands  
And all I hear is the sound

I love you  
I hate you  
I can't live around you  
I breathe you  
I taste you  
I can't live without you  
I just can't take anymore  
This life of solitude  
I guess that I'm out the door  
And now I'm done with you

-Saliva

Qui-Gon

It was _overwhelming_.

He had nearly collapsed from the shock of it. The dark side _bred_ in that wretched place.

For the life of him, Qui-Gon could not figure out why Xanatos wanted to go to the academy. It was a fitting place for their last battle – and Qui-Gon had every intention of making it their last – but was that Xanatos's only intention?

_What does he want?_

Qui-Gon knew Xanatos. He knew the way he thought, he knew his history, he knew everything about him. Xanatos never did anything halfway. There was a motive other then revenge at play. He _knew_ that.

Whatever it was, Qui-Gon intended to stop it.

_There will be no more killing for you, he thought bitterly. You won't cause any more pain, for my Padawan or me. It ends here._

_I promise._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Xanatos

Obi-Wan was silent as he dressed. That would have been taken as a bad sign, if Xanatos didn't already know that he was going to be rejected. Or at least, Obi-Wan was going to _try_ to reject him. But it wasn't over yet.

Not by a long shot.

Seeming to take more time then necessary, Obi-Wan finally pulled his leather boot over his injured ankle. The swelling had gone down, but it was still a little dark. Obi-Wan paused for a second then began to slowly lace up his boots.

He was stalling.

Xanatos grabbed his hands.

"Stop," he said sternly. "Tell me. Now."

Obi-Wan stared at his boot for several moments, then finally looked up at Xanatos. His sky blue eyes looked innocent and painfully young.

"Kiss me first?"

Xanatos placed a hand on one side of Obi-Wan's face and kissed him softly. A lump formed in his throat, and when he sat back he was angry.

_Obi-Wan's not rejecting me. The Jedi are. They've brainwashed him against anything that might mess up their perfect order. They're not keeping him._

A lone tear fell down Obi-Wan's cheek.

"I'm going back to the temple."

Xanatos nodded. "I know that you think you want to."

Obi-Wan looked up at him sharply. "I do want to."

"You're 17-years-old," Xanatos said, standing. "And they're manipulative."

"You said I could go home."

"I did not. I said that if you wanted to leave with me then we could be rid of Qui-Gon and the Jedi forever. I also said that if you said no, the plans would go on as if nothing has happened. I never said anything about letting you go back to the temple."

Obi-Wan stiffened. "You tricked me."

"No," Xanatos said. "You made an incorrect assumption."

Anger flashed across Obi-Wan's face. "I'm not an object, or a pet. You can't just claim me."

"You're wrong on that front as well," Xanatos said evenly. "I just did."

It was easy for Xanatos to see that Obi-Wan was shocked and upset, but he thought he caught another emotion. It almost looked like relief.

It's alright if he's angry now. Within a week we'll be far from this place, and he'll forgive me. He'll probably thank me.

"Let's go," Xanatos said softly. "And try to cooperate, I don't want to cuff you."

"Where are we going?" Obi-Wan asked, rising.

Xanatos smiled at him. "The academy. What we came here for."

He felt the boy staring at him.

_Don't worry Obi-Wan. Nothing's going to hurt you. I'm not like Qui-Gon, I'll protect you. For real._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Obi-Wan

It had finally happened

Xanatos had _snapped_.

_He's always been a little off, but this?_

Obi-Wan had thought that the jungle world, the academy, everything on this wretched planet had been an act, a ploy to scare him and Qui-Gon. Apparently he was wrong.

They had only walked for a few minutes when they came into a clearing. Obi-Wan recognized the parked speeders, and he really recognized the tanks they were unloading. However, his main focus was on the North side of the clearing.

It was massive. Built from black stone, it looked like it could outstretch the Jedi temple. It was dominating and demanding.

And scary.

"Are you sure we have to go in there?" Obi-Wan asked, stopping firmly in place.

"Relax," Xanatos said in his calm, I'm-completely-in-control voice. "You won't be hurt. I promise."

"And Qui-Gon?" Obi-Wan demanded.

Xanatos ignored him, turning and walking towards the academy. He made a hand signal for Obi-Wan to follow. He did.

_What choice do I have?_

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Qui-Gon

Obi-Wan's force signature rang out over the darkness.

_Finally._

Qui-Gon would have cried in relief if he hadn't been so preoccupied with finding an inconspicuous way of getting to his padawan. He was just outside the clearing, covered safely by the trees. He could see dots in the distance. He could see the academy.

Until he was sure that Obi-Wan was alive, he hadn't even realized that he'd feared the boy was dead.

_If I can feel them, I'm sure that they know I'm here as well_, Qui-Gon warned himself, watching the mercenaries move. _How do I get through the soldiers? _

Torn out of his contemplations, his heartbeat stopped.

They were going into the academy.

"No," He said aloud.

He ran through the trees, wishing that he had headed for the North side of the clearing in the first place. It would be easy to sneak around the edge of the academy and into it to follow them.

He had just hoped that it wouldn't be necessary to allow Obi-Wan into that place.

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Obi-Wan

The academy was scary on the inside as well. There were statues praising Sith lords mounted along the walls of the huge room. The ceiling was easily 30 meters high, and the intimidating statues weren't much smaller. Obi-Wan looked around in fearful awe.

Then his breath caught. At the far end of the room there was a round pit with a stone podium in front of it. Mercenaries surrounded the pit. It was filled with about 6 inches of red liquid. Obi-Wan gasped when he saw the stack of dead bodies, but felt even worse when he saw the mercenaries draining blood from some of them. Many of the bacta tanks still remained.

Enough to fill the pit.

He wanted to throw up.

"He's coming," Xanatos informed Obi-Wan casually, as if innocent people weren't being killed.

Obi-Wan started. "Qui-Gon? I didn't feel his signature."

"It's because of the darkside cloud. You're not strong enough to sense through it yet."

"How can you do this?" Obi-Wan demanded, his thoughts returning to the prisoners.

Instead of replying, Xanatos grabbed his arm and pulled him off to the side of the grand room. In a moment they were shrouded by shadow.

Xanatos pulled Obi-Wan close, and kissed him like they had kissed the first night they made love. It didn't last for much longer then a moment, but Obi-Wan was shaking when Xanatos pulled back.

"I love you," he said firmly. Then walked out of the shadows.

"Hello Qui-Gon," he smiled at the doorway as a familiar figure entered. "You're right on schedule."

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blockofthewritingkind: (taps foot) I hope that you have a really big oven. Yes he ends up back at the temple; hmmm I wonder what that means? Only I, the writer, know, bwahahahaha. Ah don't hate Qui-Gon, he doesn't know what's going on. Of course, if he did know he'd probably try to stop it, but still!

Child of a Pineapple: Here's Tainted Love. Where's Porphyria? (glares) I don't care how busy you are, or how unmotivated. Whore. Wait, that hasn't been working for me has it? (sniff) CoP (sniff) I don't know what (sniff) I'll do (sniff) without the next (sniff) chapter. And you totally fall in love with gay guys.

Staryday: I'm glad that you liked it. There will be some more sith stuff in the next chapter, and as for the ending, nothing's set in stone.

MyFictionalAnnihilation: Yikes, the band kids at my school get it pretty hard too. I hope that this chapter made you feel better over the loss of your summer. And if not I'll share my cookies with you.

An-angel-in-hell: Ha, it'd be a good enough reason for me. Of course, if Xanatos wanted me to run away with him I'd be like "screw reason" but Obi-Wan's a Jedi afterall. As for the ending, it's like I told Staryday. Nothing's set in stone.

Whatevergirl: I'm glad that you liked it, and I'm glad that you like Every You and Every Me.

**A/N**: The story is reaching it's climax. I'm a little sad, there are like, four chapters left at the absolute most. Anyway, Qui-Gon has finally found them. Yay? Or not yay? Depending on how you want it to end. Anyway, in the next chapter for sure the significance of the holocron will be explained and Xanatos's bigger plan will come to light. Please review, I hope you enjoyed it!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: (sigh) I wish.

**Chapter 11**

"What good is a life, with no one to share,  
The light of the moon, the honor of a swear.  
We can try to live the way in which you speak,  
Taste the milk of your mother earth's love,  
Spread the word of consciences you see,  
We are everything we need  
We belong together  
Like the open seas and shores  
Wedded by the planet force  
We've all been spoken for."

-Gavin DeGraw

Obi-Wan

He glanced down at his hand.

_My lightsaber. Xanatos gave me back my lightsaber._

He closed his fist around it, feeling complete relief and comfort at the familiar shape of the handle. He was a Jedi. He could do this.

"Where's Obi-Wan?" A familiar voice demanded.

Immediately Obi-Wan stepped out of the shadows. Qui-Gon was standing in the academy doorway, looking confident even though he was greatly outnumbered. Xanatos stood several meters in front of him. His confidence held mockery.

"I'm here master," Obi-Wan said, not even sure if Qui-Gon could hear him.

He looked so relieved, and Obi-Wan felt a pang of guilt.

"Are you alright?"

"He's fine," Xanatos snapped, almost defensively.

"I'd rather hear that from_ him_."

"I'm fine," Obi-Wan repeated softly, not really believing the words himself. He'd live, but he was far from _fine_. Fine implied complete contentment, which he did not have in any form. He touched the bandage on his forehead. "For the most part."

Qui-Gon's attention returned to the dark Jedi. His expression remained calm, but both Obi-Wan and Xanatos could tell that his blood boiled beneath the exterior. "I suppose now you're going to tell us why we're here?"

Xanatos reached inside his cloak and pulled out a familiar triangle. "Of course. You know me too well _master_." He turned and walked toward the stone podium.

Lifting his hand, Qui-Gon motioned for Obi-Wan to come to the doorway with him. But Obi-Wan couldn't move. He just stood there looking from Xanatos to Qui-Gon.

_My resolve is gone. I don't know what to do._

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said firmly.

Obi-Wan couldn't do anything but stare at him.

"There's no need for _that_," Xanatos said nonchalantly, his back still turned to them. When he reached the podium he glanced over his shoulder to look at Qui-Gon. "_I_ won't hurt him."

Qui-Gon watched Xanatos stoically, but Obi-Wan could tell that he was confused.

_I don't blame him. I'm confused._

Xanatos turned the holocron upside and lowered it toward the podium. There appeared to be a fitted hole just the right shape for it.

"What's going to happen when you put that in?" Qui-Gon asked.

He was buying time, Obi-Wan could easily see that. There were mercenaries everywhere, mercenaries who were hired to stop him, but he couldn't just let Xanatos do that. Especially not until he knew what it did.

Xanatos smiled. "The holocron is like a datapad filled with secrets of the Sith, as you well know. But this holocron is special, it doubles as a key."

"A key that unlocks what?" Qui-Gon looked relaxed, but he was preparing to fight.

The next smile was wicked, and every bit the Sith that Xanatos seemed to think he was. Obi-Wan hadn't seen that smile since Xanatos had kidnapped him.

The holocron slid out of the dark Jedi's hand and fell neatly into the hole. The sharp clang of metal and metal connecting rang through the large room.

Everything was deathly silently, and Obi-Wan's own breathing sounded loud and inhuman in his ears. Then a loud roar started, like the roar of the winds across the mountains of Hoth. The noise centered above the holocron.

Light slid along the edges of the device, a sickly blue light that rose in the air to the roar's pivotal point. A glowing, transparent blue ball floated a yard above the podium, dust and dirt swirling around it.

"It's called a d'yirk," Xanatos shouted over the roar. The noise began to die down, but the ball stayed suspended, glowing more brightly then a lightsaber, giving it the air of demonic impending doom.

Qui-Gon laid his hand on his lightsaber hilt. Obi-Wan then realized his master's exhaustion. "What does it do?"

Xanatos's smile was manic. "What indeed."

Suppressing a shiver at the words, Obi-Wan took a step forward to get a better look.

He realized then that his first interpretation of it was wrong, the thing was blue, but it had small veins of red painted across it, like some sort of beating heart. Clutching his lightsaber for comfort he took another step forward.

"Xanatos?" He said carefully. "What happens now?"

Xanatos looked away from his morbid creation to glance at Obi-Wan. A strange expression crossed his face, as if he had forgotten that the Jedi was there. He stared at his partial lover, either not having an answer to the question or worried about Obi-Wan's response to the answer. The electricity that extended between their blue eyes reminded them of everything that had happened to bring them to that point. It also reminded them that the stakes were much higher now.

Obi-Wan felt a hand on his shoulder. Qui-Gon had come to stand next to them, unnecessarily concerned for his Padawan's safety.

Cobalt blue eyes glinted at the gesture, and Xanatos's hate returned in a wave. He backed up several steps.

"The finale," He was standing next to the d'yirk, his hand poised above it. "I'll try to keep this monoslavic master," he sneered. "It's a bomb. In a sense."

"What kind of sense?" Qui-Gon demanded.

"It's the ultimate weapon," Xanatos smirked darkly. "It will target anything I want, and in a large extent."

"So," Qui-Gon said carefully. "You're going to kill us with that thing?"

Xanatos laughed. The laugh was bitter and hateful, and it broke Obi-Wan's heart. "I have no intention of killing anyone here except for _you_, but no, I'm not using the d'yirk. I already have you, why would I waste it's power?" He smiled. "Think master, what large point would I want to erase from the universe?"

Qui-Gon paled. "The Jedi temple."

"Yes, the Jedi temple," Xanatos ran his fingers along the blasphemy's surface.

"Don't do this," Obi-Wan pleaded, shaking off Qui-Gon's grip and stepping forward. "You don't have too."

His fingers paused, and he looked at Obi-Wan gently. "You'll appreciate this someday."

Everything happened too quickly to completely comprehend after that. Xanatos shoved his hand deep into the core of the d'yirk. The ball pulsed out a light so bright Obi-Wan had to look away and cover his eyes. When he finally looked back, the ball was still glowing like a sun and Qui-Gon and Xanatos were engaged in battle. Their lightsabers clashed ferociously.

Obi-Wan watched them in morbid fascination. He had no idea what to do.

Or who to defend.

The mercenaries weren't doing anything; they were watching the fight calmly. Obviously Xanatos didn't want or need their help.

_There is one thing I can do. _

Obi-Wan turned to stare at the d'yirk. He had no idea what was going to happen, but he assumed that the pause was the object targeting the temple. He had to stop it.

No matter what.

Igniting his lightsaber, he leapt onto the podium, his feet landed in front of the d'yirk steadily. Without a second thought he shoved his lightsaber deep into the weapon, until the deep blue of it could be seen on the other end.

Then the pain came. Obi-Wan knew that it was there, but he couldn't feel it. He just watched raptly as the skin peeled off his lightsaber arm in layers. He felt a strong pull jerk him away from the d'yirk, just as the red muscle of his arm was becoming visible.

He landed heavily on the stone floor; his shoulders fell firmly back into Xanatos's arms. The older man had been the one to pull him away from the death device.

"What have you done?" Xanatos asked. His face was taut and horrified as he stared at Obi-Wan's ruined arm.

"My friends," Obi-Wan said weakly, unable to tear his eyes away from the gory sight. The skin from his forearm down was gone, and bright red, taut muscles were visibly. He could see the still intact thrumming veins.

"Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon's voice broke into his thoughts.

Obi-Wan glanced up at his master and smiled painfully. "It's okay, I'll be fine."

"We need to cover that arm," Xanatos said, though Obi-Wan wasn't sure if he was speaking to Qui-Gon or him.

Obi-Wan cried out when he felt material move over his hand. Xanatos had pulled off his glove and placed over Obi-Wan's skinless hand. It was a slightly loose fit, but it would do. The glove rubbed against his skin – or muscle he supposed now - painfully. Material ripped, then Xanatos was wrapping and tying chunks of his cloak around Obi-Wan's arm.

It _hurt_.

"Stop," Obi-Wan pleaded.

Xanatos's hands slowed, but he soon resumed the wrapping. "It will hurt worse if they have to amputate it," Xanatos softly begged him for cooperation.

The pain was overwhelming, and Obi-Wan just wanted to sleep. He wouldn't feel the pain while he was unconscious.

He felt his head lull back on to Xanatos's shoulder when he closed his eyes.

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Qui-Gon

_What's going on here?_

He watched detachedly as Xanatos wrapped Obi-Wan's arm. Fear had gripped him when he saw his padawan destroy the d'yirk. It would be many years before he got the image of Obi-Wan's skin being ripped away out of his mind. He had immediately moved to help his apprentice, but what really shocked him was that Xanatos was the one to pull Obi-Wan away from the object.

It left Qui-Gon to wonder what exactly had been happening during Obi-Wan's kidnapping.

He nearly yanked Obi-Wan away when the boy laid his tired head on Xanatos's shoulder.

Taking several deep breaths to calm himself, he spoke to the dark Jedi. "What's…"

The question went unfinished. A blindly blue light surrounded them, followed by a high-pitched whistle that left Qui-Gon clutching his ears. Fire ripped down the sides of the room.

Horrified, the Jedi master turned to look at the d'yirk.

It was _backfiring_. At least, that's what it looked like. It couldn't send it's built up energy to the temple…

So it was targeting the _academy_.

Obi-Wan's head shot up, fully awakened by the sound. Mercenaries ran and panicked around them. Several ran outside.

Then screams echoed through the buildings.

"The beasts!" Xanatos shouted over the roar. "All the dark energy in the academy has called them."

"They'll massacre us all," Obi-Wan said, looking as if the words astonished even him.

"We'll see," Xanatos said, pulling Obi-Wan to his feet. "But we have to get out of here first, this place is going to blow."

"But there are creatures out _there_," Qui-Gon snapped, not particularly wanting to face the cats again.

"At least out there we have chance," Xanatos looked and Obi-Wan. "Can you walk?"

"There's nothing wrong with my leg," Obi-Wan replied, grimacing as he moved his injured arm. "Did anyone see where my lightsaber went?"

Xanatos looked at the shining d'yirk. "I don't think you're getting it back."

Obi-Wan groaned. "I needed that."

"We don't have time," Qui-Gon said, taking Obi-Wan's good arm and pulling him out of the room. Xanatos followed them.

"Wait!" Obi-Wan shouted, tugging free. "The others!" He pointed the bacta tanks that still held many prisoners. "We can't just leave!"

"We have to," Xanatos argued impatiently.

This is all so strange. Why is Xanatos even waiting for us? Why hasn't he tried to kill us? Why did he bother to save Obi-Wan's life?

"Qui-Gon!" Obi-Wan's frantic voice rang through his thoughts. "Tell him we can't leave them!"

Qui-Gon looked back at the victims.

"How much time do you think we have?" Qui-Gon asked Xanatos.

The dark Jedi looked at the malfunctioning d'yirk warily. "Ten minutes, at the most."

_I can't trust him. I don't know why he's acting like this, but I know I can't trust him._

_But I have to._

"Will you take Obi-Wan to safety while I get the prisoners?" Qui-Gon asked Xanatos, watching the man's reaction carefully.

"By yourself?" Xanatos asked incredulously. "You can release them from the tanks, but they won't be able to walk easily. They'll need help."

Qui-Gon had thought of that, but he couldn't turn his back on them. "I'll figure something out, just take Obi-Wan out of here."

"I can help," Obi-Wan argued.

Qui-Gon shook his head. "Not with that arm, and arguing with me will only waste time."

The boy looked torn, but after a moment's hesitation he allowed Xanatos to pull him out of the academy.

Qui-Gon turned to the tanks forlornly.

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**A/N**: So this was going to be the second to last chapter, but now there will be two more instead of one. About the time that this chapter hit 14 pages I'm like "ummm… I think I'll split this up." Besides, this way you'll get two updates rather quickly instead of one long, rushed update. Please review!


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Well, since I've now decided to marry George Lucas and thus own Star Wars, maybe someday. But for now, not mine.

**Chapter 12**

You're making me go, than making me stay  
Why do you hurt me so bad?  
It would help me to know, do I stand in your way  
Or am I the best thing you've had?  
Believe me, believe me, I can't tell you why  
But I'm trapped by your love, and I'm chained to your side  
-Pat Benetar

Xanatos

Xanatos's feet barely connected with the ground as he pulled Obi-Wan out of the academy. Around them mercenaries were being attacked and ripped to pieces by the cats, and the forest was engulfed in flames. Xanatos ignited his lightsaber, slicing at a cat that had gotten close to them.

Obi-Wan was deathly pale, and it worried him. He had no idea that the d'yirk would do _that_; but then again, he never intended to ram his lightsaber into it either. On the upside, for some reason the wound was not bleeding.

Xanatos pulled the boy a good distance away from the academy before he allowed him to slump against an unlit tree. Pained eyes turned to stare at the academy.

"Do you think he'll get them out in time?" Obi-Wan asked desperately.

Xanatos hesitated for a moment. "No."

"But you don't care," he responded simply.

Not knowing what to say, Xanatos didn't answer.

Of course I don't care, the entire point of this was to kill Qui-Gon. I had intended to take the rest of the Jedi with him, but this will do.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I can't just stay out here and do nothing."

For a moment Xanatos couldn't breath as Obi-Wan straightened to head back to the academy, but then his instincts kicked in and he grabbed Obi-Wan's good arm.

"He told you to come outside," Xanatos argued, gripping him firmly.

"I don't _care_."

"You-" But a strange noise cut him short.

Voices, many voices, and stomping feet.

Obviously hearing it as well, Obi-Wan turned to look into the burning forest. Tall plants and bushes were being pushed to the side as a large group of people headed toward the academy. They were garbed in animal skins that looked worn-out, and their skin was dirty. Fear was painted on some of their faces, but others held brave or stoic looks.

_Oh, not _them_ again._

"Who are they?" Obi-Wan wondered aloud.

They pushed past the pair, heading straight for the academy. Only one older woman stopped.

"You're Obi-Wan?" She asked. She didn't look at Xanatos for more then a second.

Obi-Wan nodded.

"We met your master on his journey. We're here to help."

"The academy's going to explode," Obi-Wan warned quickly.

She nodded apathetically. "We know." Then she was gone amongst her fellow tribesmen.

_I can't fight all of them_, Xanatos thought bitterly. _But this isn't over, even if Qui-Gon gets out of there, it's ending today._

To Xanatos's further irritation, Obi-Wan looked relieved to see the natives.

"I didn't know that people lived on Tarria."

Xanatos crossed him arms. "Intelligent people don't."

Two young boys came out supporting an older man. A woman carrying a small, half-conscious little boy followed him.

"But they're _good_ people," Obi-Wan said softly.

Xanatos glanced at him, wondering what his implication was.

Several more stumbled out, and Obi-Wan sighed in relief when he saw Qui-Gon come out supporting a young woman. Qui-Gon grabbed the arm of a young native about to return to the academy. Xanatos couldn't hear what the Jedi told him, but the boy stepped back and started warding people away from the building. Qui-Gon swung the girl up into his arms and moved quickly toward Xanatos and Obi-Wan.

"We got out who we could," Qui-Gon said, his face calm but sadness in his eyes. "We can't go back in there, we don't have enough time."

Obi-Wan helped Qui-Gon set the half-conscious girl down. "At least we tried."

Xanatos clenched his fist, he wasn't sure which annoyed him more, their obvious dismissal of any threat that he could impose, or that Obi-Wan had returned to being the Jedi's lapdog in a matter of minutes.

"How unfortunate," he snapped.

Qui-Gon finally turned to look at him, then narrowed his eyes. "So you have no compunction."

"And you're surprised," Xanatos smirked at him. It was something that the dark Jedi had noted long ago; nothing could get to Qui-Gon like outright mockery. "You never did understand me at all. After all these years, I can still fool you."

"You were able to fool me once," Qui-Gon said. "But not anymore." He didn't sound angry or even sad, just very, very tired. That fueled Xanatos even more.

"And what do you know? Besides false promises and empty maxims, that is," He placed his hand firmly on his lightsaber's hilt. "Why carry on this argument, we both know that it's ending here, today."

Qui-Gon nodded and moved into a defensive position. "Yes, it is."

"Wait-" Obi-Wan started, but neither listened. With a hiss and a crash their lightsabers tangled like an angry storm, burning like lightning against the ground.

_This won't take long_, Xanatos told himself as he and Qui-Gon pushed back into the flames of the forest, and they became shrouded by burning trees. _He's getting old; he can't fight me like he once did. I'll kill him; I'll have my revenge, and I'll have Obi-Wan._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Obi-Wan

Panic coursed through him as Xanatos and Qui-Gon fought. He moved forward to step in-between them, to do _something_ to stop them, but was intercepted himself.

One of the vicious wild cats, twice the size of the one that attacked Xanatos, leapt in front of him lithely. A partially chewed arm hung from the side of his mouth, and blood dripped down the front of his mane. The creature sucked the arm in and chewed like a human would do with Elechia noodles.

Frankly, Obi-Wan would rather have dealt with his half-crazed semi-lover and overly exhausted master.

"Nice kitty," he said soothingly as he reached for his lightsaber.

It wasn't there.

_Of course_, he thought bitterly. _That d'yirk thing ate it._

Obi-Wan glanced around him. Xanatos and Qui-Gon were already out of his sight; lost in the burning forest, and the natives and mercenaries all had creature problems of their own to deal with.

The cat appeared to be smirking as it approached him slowly.

Taking an involuntary step backwards, Obi-Wan looked for some sort of weapon, anything to protect himself against the vicious creature. The thing started to back up, preparing to leap, then sprang.

Obi-Wan jumped out of the way, but it was unnecessary. The creature sailed over his head at a mercenary already fighting one cat. Obi-Wan hit the ground hard on his worn body and stumbled a little, but he was fine. He stared at the departed creature in shock.

_Of course_, he realized. _Xanatos said that I would be the least appealing to them in the entire camp. They thrive on dark energy._

He turned at the fiery forest and moved toward it at a jog. His ankle protested, but his mind was screaming at him to find them before something irrevocable happened.

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Qui-Gon

Xanatos's rage was _overwhelming_.

He had always been a formidable opponent, that was one of the reasons why he stood out to Qui-Gon at the Jedi temple. His fighting was quick and decisive; he didn't linger on decisions or draw his victories out. He was fast and dangerous, like a poisonous snake.

And he had advanced, but not the way Qui-Gon had expected. His arts had shifted from Jedi to a whole different range, one that his ex-master couldn't account for his knowing.

Where had Xanatos learned to fight like a Sith?

He pulled from the dark side of the force like drinking water from a stream, and thrived on its kinetic energy like he was breastfed and raised on it. It was unnerving.

It was deadly.

"Surprised?" Xanatos asked with a wicked smile as Qui-Gon made a wrong step and was forced back.

"No," Qui-Gon responded dryly as he parried a blow. "I got use to your ego long ago."

Xanatos pushed him back again, and Qui-Gon broke through the trees. They were now next to a cliff with a steep drop and jagged sides. Fire ripped along the bottom of the canyon.

"I had to pull your apprentice off this cliff's edging not long ago. Tore him up pretty bad."

_How dare he treat Obi-Wan like that?_ Anger hit Qui-Gon, but he let it go. "I'm sure you enjoyed his pain."

Fury blazed in Xanatos's eyes as he swung his lightsaber at Qui-Gon. "Every time he was hurt it was your fault, not mine."

The force of the blow shook Qui-Gon up to his shoulders, but he held. "Why would that matter to you?"

Xanatos pushed away, anger written across his face. The fire crackled behind them in its own private rage, spitting out deadly embers. He swung again, and this blow pushed Qui-Gon back against the cliff's edge.

"You're going to die today Qui-Gon," Xanatos said, glaring at him in disgust and hate. "But before you die, I want you to know that Obi-Wan doesn't belong to you and the Jedi anymore, and hasn't since I took him from Coruscant. He belongs to me, and he's leaving here with _me_."

Qui-Gon stared back at Xanatos in shock, not fully comprehending what he was saying. _Belongs to him…?_

He was never able to ask. The fire roared behind him, and a tree broke beneath its anger. With a groan the trunk fell toward the ground where Xanatos was standing. The dark Jedi leapt back and the tree landed heavily in front of him. The cliff cracked beneath his feet and slid away from the land. Qui-Gon saw Xanatos's shocked face, and then he was gone over the cliff.

The Jedi stared down the clifface, shocked himself. He couldn't see anything around the flames flowing along the canyon's bottom.

"Qui-Gon!" He nearly jumped when he heard Obi-Wan's voice behind him. The boy was covered in soot and sweat, but his blue eyes glowed against the black dust.

He was injured, and Qui-Gon had no idea how his emotional health was, but he was alive.

"Where's Xanatos?" Obi-Wan asked after a moment's hesitation. He was apprehensive as he looked around.

"Gone," Qui-Gon said gently.

"Gone?" Obi-Wan repeated apathetically. He moved forward a little shakily. "Gone where?"

"We were fighting, and he fell," Qui-Gon pointed toward cliff.

Obi-Wan looked over the edge, then stumbled backwards. "He can't… he didn't…" Qui-Gon reached for him, but the boy tumbled to the ground and vomited, shaking and coughing.

Qui-Gon knelt down beside him and pulled the boy to his feet. "Obi-Wan? What happened?"

But he didn't answer.

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**A/N**: I'm soooo sorry that it took so long to get this update out, especially since I promised you guys a fast one. This chapter gave me such pains, and advanced lit and comp wasn't helping any. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, please review! Only one chapter to go.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I own copies of the series, does that count?

**Chapter 13**

Say goodbye, as we dance with the devil tonight

Don't you dare look at him in the eye,

As we dance with the devil tonight

Trembling, crawling across my skin

Feeling your cold, dead eyes, stealing the life of mine

I believe in you,

I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies

I won't last long

In this world so wrong

-Breaking Benjamin

_Present_

Obi-Wan

He took a deep shuddering breath. It seemed so much more real when he recounted it to Bant. So much more final when he recounted the ending.

Bant's wide eyes watched him as he ran a lazy finger over his bandaged arm.

"The medics said that it would heal fine, and without scarring," he mumbled, then as an afterthought, "They're liars."

A hand encased his good one. "They weren't talking about your heart."

He smiled bitterly. "That's a little damaged too."

"I'm so sorry."

"Yes, me too," he said softly. "But I…"

He leaned forward and rubbed his face with his hands, wiping away the remaining tears. "I just wish that I had told him I loved him."

Bant leaned forward and hugged him tightly. "He knew, I'm sure he knew."

Obi-Wan clung to her tightly, feeling comforted by her warm presence. Bant had always been there for him without fail. Bant was the only one who still cared about him at his worst moments.

"Are you going to tell Qui-Gon?"

He was silent for several moments. "He'll never look at me the same."

"He'll never look at you the same either way; if you don't tell him he'll always know that you're holding something back, but maybe he can pull you through this," she sat back, smiling at him gently. "You're here with us now, that must mean that you're supposed to be here."

"And what does that make Tarria? A big cosmic joke?"

Bant shook her head solemnly. "A lesson, maybe."

Obi-Wan scoffed. "And what exactly did I learn?"

"You'll have to decide that for yourself," She sighed and laid her head on Obi-Wan's shoulder.

"Do you really think I should tell him?"

"You know I do," She sat up and stared at him with watery eyes. "You should go tell him right now. He might not understand, but he'll try."

He used the edge of his sleep couch to stand on wobbly legs. He hadn't been eating much lately, the pain still blistering in him like an infected wound made it hard to keep anything down. Maybe talking to Qui-Gon _would_ help.

"I hope he doesn't hate me," he said softly, resting his palm on the door.

Bant stood and touched Obi-Wan's hand. "He'll never hate you."

She reached past him and pushed the mechanism, letting the door open with a slight rush of air.

The hallway was empty in the late hour, but Obi-Wan had begun to prefer the loneliness. He wasn't sure if he could handle too much life. Like before, when he had first returned from that horrible mission.

"Can I ask you a question before you go?" Bant said softly from behind him.

He turned slightly to look at her, nodding.

She immediately looked down at her hands, knotting them together. "If Xanatos hadn't died, would you have come back here? To us?"

It was clear that tears were brimming in her eyes, and she was trying to hold them back.

"Bant…" He responded in a whisper. "You know I love you, and everyone else here, right? This is my home, and it always will be."

She nodded solemnly.

Obi-Wan smiled at her. "Good." He turned on his heel and walked down the hall.

And Bant stood there, stiff as duracrete.

"I never knew you were such a good liar," she said to the floor.

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Qui-Gon

"You're absolutely sure?" He asked into the comlink crisply.

After he had gotten Obi-Wan back they left Tarria immediately, sending in another Jedi team to finish up the investigation and arrest the bounty hunters. He didn't want to keep his apprentice there another second.

"Positive," the voice on the other line crackled faintly. "There's no trace of a body anywhere, but that's no reason to be nervous. He fell into a fire, his body could have simply burnt up."

Qui-Gon shook his head, even though he knew that his fellow Jedi could not see him. "There should be _something_, anything. I assumed that he was dead before, and look what happened."

The line was silent. "We can look again Master Jinn, but there's no benefit from paranoia, except for unnecessary stress. That's not what you or your apprentice need right now."

Irritated and exhausted, Qui-Gon had to fight to keep his voice level and calm. "I would appreciate one last check, may the force be with you." He quickly cut the communication.

_I am not a Padawan, who is he to lecture me?_

He rubbed his temples, trying to clear away the headache. In the back of his mind he knew the Jedi was right, that he should be focusing on helping Obi-Wan, but the thought of Xanatos still out there drove him insane. He had gone to the room of a thousand fountains to calm himself for the talk with the investigative team, but it had not helped.

_How did I let this happen?_ He asked himself for the thousandth time. Even in death, Xanatos still found a way to ruin his life. Qui-Gon found himself unable to think of anything else, and wondered if he would ever be free of the dark Jedi's ghost.

"Qui-Gon?"

He quickly turned to Obi-Wan's voice. The boy hadn't approached him in days.

"I need to talk to you."

Qui-Gon sighed in relief. This is what he had been waiting for. Obi-Wan was holding back, keeping some hidden pain inside of him, and it needed to come out.

Then he realized that Obi-Wan was shaking.

"Obi-Wan?"

"I need to tell you about Xanatos."

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There was no comfort to be found in the pink rays of dawn over the once serene lake. He had no words to seize, least of all something to comfort his Padawan.

"Bant said that if I didn't tell you it would linger between us forever," Obi-Wan sighed. "I'm sure that she was right."

It took Qui-Gon several moments to get four words out. "I'm glad you did."

Obi-Wan nodded. "There was more I wanted you to know," he said hesitantly.

_Not more. I can't handle more._

"I hoped you would understand that Xanatos wasn't completely what he seemed. Near the end you seemed to hate him so much, but he wasn't a horrible person… you should know that his love's why I'm still here. He did save my life."

Qui-Gon nodded stiffly. "I see."

The boy stood with a slight rustle of clothing. "Bant's most likely anxious for my return." He seemed hurt but Qui-Gon's detached, apathetic words.

The older Jedi caught Obi-Wan's arm as he started to retreat. His apprentice looked at him nervously.

"This is going to be alright," he said in a whisper. "We'll get you through this."

Qui-Gon waited until the boy was out of sight before he collapsed on to the grass.

"Xanatos," he said aloud, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I guess I really will never be rid of him."

_That night_

Obi-Wan

Why did Coruscant seem so cold?

Tarrian nights had killed the burliest of men, froze them straight to their hearts. Coruscant was comfortable. Average.

So why was Obi-Wan shivering under his thermablanket?

He pulled his icicle fingers under the covers, rubbing them together. Rolling over in an attempt to get warm, he realized the problem. The only body heat was his. It's strange how quickly you grow accustomed to pleasant things.

Though he was chilled, he soon felt his eyes start to droop. His room vanished before him, and he fell into a groggy half-sleep.

For the moment.

Fingertips brushed his cheek, almost so softly he thought he'd imagined it. He opened his eyes, only to catch the side of his open window, and the corner of a cloak blowing in the breeze.

The thermablanket tangled around his legs as he shot off his sleepcouch. He kicked it aside and ran to the window, leaning against the bottom and looking out.

"Xanatos?" He asked pleadingly. His voice was soft, afraid that if he spoke too loudly he would wake up to find that this was a dream.

No one responded.

His heart sank as he realized that he _had_ imagined it. No one could balance on that ledge, especially not at the high Coruscant altitudes. The window must have malfunctioned. He pressed the button beside the square and watched the glass slide closed.

Depressed all over again, he trudged back to the sleepcouch, collapsing on it. A thin durasheet floated into the air.

Too thin.

Obi-Wan watched it fall for a moment before grabbing it, and unfolding with shaky hands. The texture was strong. There was no writing on the note, just a symbol.

A broken circle.

Shock overtook him. He felt like his brain had registered everything the symbol meant and nothing at all in the same moment. He wasn't sure whether he should cry in relief or take the note to Qui-Gon immediately.

Hesitating for a moment, he rolled the note up and clutched it tightly. He grabbed up his utility belt and tore a small hole on the inside, shoving the rolled up durasheet inside the leather lining.

They were his memories, and he was going to keep them locked up. Whether Xanatos was alive or not didn't matter.

_I've returned to the temple for a reason, I'm suppose to be here. But I'll have the memories._

_And I intend to keep them._

**To Be Continued in _Shattered Love_**

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A/N: Thank you everyone who reviewed and stuck with me throughout this story. Looking back on it I see some things that I could have done better, like I want to add more detail, but I think that I'll leave it alone. _Shattered Love_ should be up in a few months at the longest, so I hope all of you will come to read the sequel. I'm excited that this story ended on Chapter 13, like the number for bad luck. It made me really happy. Thanks again, and please review this chapter!


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